Pertemis: Reading the Lightning Thief
by Demititan28
Summary: The Olympian Council (Plus Hades and Hestia) is known for it's annual Winter Solstice. Now throw in the Savior of Olympus, Thalia Grace, Nico Di Angelo, Annabeth Chase, three demititans, and a son of Poseidon's love of the goddess of the Hunt. Then later when the Kanes, Heroes of old, and an alternative universe Percy appears, my head will explode! YOLO SWAG LOL!
1. LOL: WE meet the GODS

**Pertemis: Reading the Lightning Thief**

**Chapter one:**

**We meet the gods in the past and read Chapter one!**

I do not own Pjo or anything else apart from the demititans.

The gods, like what they usually did during the winter solstice, were complaining about stupid things that meant absolutely nothing. Like that Apollo was arguing that he was older while Artemis slapped him. Hera was saying that Zeus is a horrible cheater. Ares and Hephaestus were fighting over who should have Aphrodite. Aphrodite was telling Hermes that he needed a new style. Demeter was telling Hades, Dionysus, and Hestia they needed more cereal. And Athena and Poseidon were having a stare off to end all stare offs.

So when a vortex appeared and coughed up seven people...well lets just say that it was a bit of a shocked reaction.

Three, who were all boys, were wearing gold, indigo, and gray cloaks. One was muttering something about stupid portals.

The two girls, one with a goth punk style along with a silver circlet and the other in a camp half-blood shirt, which looked relatively...normal?

The two other boys were dressed in a blue/green shirt and a black shirt, both wore jeans. In the elder boys hand were five books. Climbing up to their feet the odd bunch merely looked around the room.

Finally the girl in the camp half-blood shirt stood forward and said "Hello, we come from the future and I believe this is the year 1998. We have come to tell you the future because the fates told us to-"

"Stupid fates." muttered the gray-cloaked boy.

"-and we have brought the books from the future." the girl finished.

Zeus stroked his ever-growing beard and said "Well it seems you don't pose a threat,-"

"Oh we pose a threat." muttered the same guy.

-so I'll allow you to stay _if_ you tell us your names."

"Sure," the girl said "I am Annabeth Chase Stoll daughter of Athena. I am from the year 2013. I am the girlfriend of Conner Stoll, son of Hermes. Architect of Olympus and Camp Half-blood."

Athena grinned at everything her daughter had accomplished. Annabeth smiled back at her.

The gothic girl came forward and said "I am Thalia Grace daughter of Zeus, from the year 2013. Lieutenant of the hunters of Artemis after Zoe died. I also defeated Khione when she randomly rebelled. I am the best friend of Percy Jackson and Nico Di Angelo, who, by the way, both bunk in the hunt sometimes."

Artemis, Zeus, and Hades all gaped in shock.

"But how can they bunk in the hunt, they're boys? And how did Zoe die?" Artemis asked.

Thalia replied "Well Percy and you are close friends, and you'll find out how Nico stays once the guy with the books tells you who he is. And you'll find out how Zoe died in the third book."

Artemis frowned but nodded while Zeus yelled "But you're a tree!"

Thalia nodded "_Was_ a tree until the guy with the books freed me."

"Yeah Zeus," asked the gray cloaked guy "Why did you turn her into a tree? Why not something more dignifying...like a goat?"

The Olympians looked at him in shock while his six companions rolled their eyes like they heard this stupidity everyday.

Finally Hades said "Nico? My son is free of the casino?"

The black-shirted boy stood forward and said "Yeah, I'm Nico Di Angelo son of Hades from 2013. I'm dating a daughter of Aphrodite. Apprentice to Thantos, god of death. And I defeated Phobos and Deimos when they rebelled. I am also the best friend of Thalia Grace and Percy Jackson."

Hades was smiling one of his extremely rare smile while Zeus had steam coming out of his ears. "You dare befriend my daughter spawn of Hades!" Zeus yelled.

Unfortunately for him the gold dude also had a short temper, and it had reached past the limit. "SHUT UP ZEUS! THE GODS THINK THEY CAN JUST DEBATE THEIR CHILDRENS LIVES WITHOUT THEIR CHILDREN EVEN PUTTING IN THEIR IMPUT! YOU ARE AN OLD FOOL WHO BELIEVES HE HAS THE RIGHT TO SHAPE HIS CHILDRENS FUTURES! WELL LET ME TELL YOU THIS SPAWN OF KRONOS: IF YOU GET MAD ONE MORE TIME ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS IN THE FUTURE I WILL PERSONALLY TOSS YOU OFF MT. OLYMPUS AND STAB YOU UNTIL YOU REACH TARTARUS! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME KING OF OLYMPUS?!"

Zeus looked small and scared at the outburst that had sounded from the angry warrior. He merely nodded his head in fear of him.

"I'll go next," said the indigo warrior "I am Mike son of Oceanus from the year 2013. I am the boyfriend of Andromeda. I am also the leader of Sea house at the demititan camp."

Suddenly Zeus was on his feet again, Poseidon and Hades seconds after. "You're a demititan?"

"A child of a titan and mortal? Yes I am. So are these two." Mike said, indicating the other two in cloaks.

"But they were banished!" Poseidon yelled.

"Yeah well you needed our help to defend Olympus so we made peace and became friends." explained Mike.

The Big Three didn't look happy, but they lowered their weapons.

The gray warrior came up next "I am Daimon, son of Hyperion from the great, 2013. I am the boyfriend of Ara. I am the cousin of Mike. And I am the head of Light house. I also battled Theseus and Odysseus in the battle against dead heroes."

The Big Three looked ready to yell, but in the end decided it better not to.

The still angry gold guy stood forward. "I am Jake, son of Kronos from 2013. I am not married and rarely date. I am the cousin of Mike and Daimon. I am the head of Elite house and leader of Camp Time. And yes, a half sibling of the six elder gods and goddesses. I battled the Primordial Hemera, and I led the demititans in the war against the dead heroes. I also am the chosen protector of children of the Big Three."

Zeus raised his bolt, his brother's raised their weapons as well "You are a child of Kronos! How?"

"Simple. A mortal caught his eye and he used a little of his power to have a child with her." Jake growled.

Zeus snarled and launched a bolt of lightning. Jake snapped his fingers and the lightning slowed. He dove to the side and time resumed.

"Don't threaten me." Jake hissed "We can talk at dinner. After we read some chapters of the books. Kapeesh?"

The Olympians nodded. Biting his lip the final boy walked forward and said "Hi, I'm Percy Jackson-"

Poseidon's eyes widened as he realized this was who the six-year old Percy would become!

"-son of Poseidon.-"

"You broke your oath!" Zeus yelled.

"So did you." Poseidon shot back.

"If they didn't everyone would be dead. Buffoons." Jake muttered.

-I am the Poseidon cabin counselor. I retrieved-"

"Hey Percy, saving who your married to for last huh?" called out Nico. Percy gave him a death glare to which the prince of death shuddered.

"-Zeus's master bolt after it was stolen. I killed the cyclops Polyphemus and obtained the Golden Fleece. I saved Artemis from under the sky when Atlas was freed-"

"_He saved me," _thought Artemis "_A boy saved me from under the sky?"_

"-. I made my way through the labyrinth to stop an invasion. I defeated Iapetus, Hyperion, and Kronos.-"

"Yeah! Die daddy!" Daimon chorused. The gods frowned at his childish antics.

"-I saved Olympus. I beat the giant Polybotes with the help of Terminus. I beat the giant Porphyion with the help of Artemis-"

"_I also helped him kill a giant, wow, my future self must not hate this guy then." _thought Artemis once more.

"-I united the Greeks and Romans against Gaea.-"

Poseidon was about to run up and hug his son for everything he had accomplished but managed to remain composed in front of the council.

"-I beat Hercules, Perseus, and Orion in the battle of dead heroes. I co-lead the demititans and demigods together to battle Tartarus. I gained the respect of the hunters-"

"_Impossible." _Artemis mentally gasped.

Taking a deep breath Percy finished "-and their mistress, and I would prefer not to tell you who I'm dating at this point. I would also like to mention that I could not have done any of these things without the help of my friends."

"Why? Embarrassed of her?" called Athena.

Percy's eyes flashed "If you dare to say that again then I hope you enjoy Tartarus, the pit!" Athena flinched.

The only thing that could be heard in the silence to follow was Nico playing on a broken banjo.

"Anyway let's read the books." Daimon said, a couch forming around the hearth.

"Okay lets begin!" Aphrodite cried happily.

"I'll read." Athena said.

"Of course." Poseidon teased.

"But wait. Thalia, you didn't answer my question. Why is Nico allowed to bunk with the hunt?" Artemis asked.

Thalia sighed "Since Kelpy here ain't talking I'll explain. With some help Percy managed to pull some strings-"

"Ha, ha Thalia." Percy cut in.

"-And he managed to get your approval for it...and something else." she whispered the last part, to which everyone from the future except Percy snickered at.

"Let's just read." Athena muttered.

**I accidentally vaporize my Pre-Algebra teacher!**

"Score one for Perce!" yelled Mike.

**Look, I didn't want to be a Half-blood.**

"Why not its awesome, scary, exhilarating, stupid, confusing, and painful all at the same time!" asked Thalia sarcastically.

**If you're reading this because you think you might be one my advice is:**

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Percy's giving advice! It's WWIII!" yelled Nico.

"Shut up Nico." said Percy with an irritated huff.

**close the book right now.** **Believe whatever lie your mom or dad told you about your birth, and try and live a normal life.**

"My mother threw me in the river on a burning reed basket. I've never met her." said Mike, and no one knew whether he was serious or not.

**Being a half-blood is dangerous.**

"No it's a walk in the park." muttered Dionysus sarcastically.

**It's scary. Most of the time, it gets you killed in painful, nasty ways.**

"It's actually, 91.99999999999998999999989999999998999999998999999 99989999999999899999999899999999999999999999888888 88888889999999764903253417625242321202928272625242 3212029999999% of the time." stated Annabeth and Athena simultaneously.

"Big heads." coughed Daimon which made Hermes and Apollo, who were sitting next to him, laugh loudly.

**If your a normal kid**

"So not Percy or Nico." grinned Thalia, which earned her a glare from Percy and Nico.

**and you think this is fiction, great. Read on. I envy you for being able to believe that none of this ever happened.**

**But if you recognize yourself in these pages-**

"Percy you need to speak up, I recognize you in these pages." yelled out Aphrodite, obviously not up to speed yet.

**-if you feel something stirring inside**

"Oh I feel something stirring inside," called out Daimon "No wait I just need the bathroom."

He jumped up a made a toilet seat with walls around it. "Wait, where do virgin goddesses pee?" said Nico.

"Why do you want to know?" asked Percy. Nico shrugged

"Yes Nico, why do you?" asked Thalia, suddenly extremely interested.

"Uh, I plead the fifth." stated Nico.

"Too bad, I want to know and political rights don't interest me ." said Jake as Daimon returned from his hole.

Nico bit his lip and murmured "Uh...just interested."

"I don't even want to know." muttered Annabeth.

Nico then perked up "But no one answered my question. Where do virgin goddesses pee?"

"I'm not answering, end of that conversation." muttered Athena.

**-stop reading immediately. You might be one of us.**

"Or we one of you." Apollo said mysteriously. Artemis frowned at him like he'd lost it.

**And once you know that, it's only a matter of time before _they_ sense it too, and they'll come for you.**

"Not if I nuke them first!" shouted Daimon.

"Good plan, lets do it." Nico agreed.

**Don't say I didn't warn you.**

"Percy you didn't warn us!" yelled Apollo, Hermes, Nico, and Mike.

Percy gave them a death glare to which they all flinched.

"Back to the story then?" grinned Hephaestus.

**My name is Percy Jackson.**

"No it's Seaweed Brain!" yelled Annabeth.

"Kelp 'for' Brains!" called Thalia.

"Peter Johnson!" shouted Dionysus.

"Can you all shut up?" asked Percy.

**I'm twelve years old. Until a few months ago, I was a boarding student at Yancy Academy, a private school for troubled kids in upstate New York.**

"No wonder your there then." called Hera.

**Am I a troubled kid?**

"Pretty much." said Nico.

"I believe the the bio-mechanical infer-structure of you chemical build up and your infected DNA chemical mix-up would have possibly altered the superstructure of the foundation of your mental, emotional, and physical amphibian- structure making your brain waves be more interlinked to your physical nerve endings which could make you believe more things quicker than others." explained Annabeth.

"You are correct daughter, the nerve ending's would be affected by some of the blank DNA particles which would be merged into his structure, meaning it changes his brain pattern waves to that of his mortal thoughts while in close contact with so much mortal things surrounding him!" grinned Athena.

"But that would also mean that the DNA from Poseidon should have made him have a strong dislike of children of Zeus or Hades, but because of his mothers DNA it would have merged into a respect or liking towards them. In Thalia's case: Best friend. In your case: Respectful woman." continued Annabeth smiling back at her mother.

"Oh kill me." moaned Apollo.

**Yeah. You could say that.**

"Hah, even you yourself agree!" laughed Thalia, Nico and Annabeth clinging to their stomachs in hysterics.

**I could start at any point in my short miserable to prove it**

"So wait, you have a miserable life while your friends and family read about the adventures you went on , _so_ miserable!" muttered Jake.

**But things really started going bad last May, when our sixth-grade class took a field trip to Manhattan-twenty-eight mental-case kids and two teachers on a yellow school bus, heading to the Metropolitan Museum of Art to look at ancient Greek and Roman stuff.**

"That sounds really interesting." said Athena and Annabeth.

**I know-it sounds like torture. Most Yancy field trips were.**

"Score two for Perce!" yelled Nico while Athena, scary #1 and Annabeth, scary #2, glared at Percy.

Percy quickly shrank back.

"Don't worry Perce, no ones getting past Spring water and I." called Daimon who was standing protectively in front of him with a bottle of spring water.

"Hahahahahahaha! Dude, you think you can take me on with a water bottle?" laughed Ares.

"Try me War God. I dare you." Daimon's voice suddenly became crazy. Zeus looked around to see that Annabeth, Thalia, Percy, Nico, Jake, and Mike were all looking at Ares with pity.

"Whatever kid, I'm going to destroy you. And when I'm done I'm gonna beat up the boy." Ares sneered.

"I accept your conditions, good luck War God." Daimon said before moving over to one side while Ares moved over to the other.

"Begin!" yelled Mike giving Ares one last look of pity.

Daimon glowed with pure heat. Armor merged under Daimon's cloak, moving at the speed of a bullet he slammed the bottle into Ares in his breastplate which sent him careening into a marble column, but the force carried him _through_ the column and into the wall. Thrusting through the air Daimon slammed his knee into Ares's helmet which sent it spinning across the the room.

Ares managed to scramble away and lunge with his double-edged sword but it was snapped when Daimon slammed it into his knee. "Please continue the story while I pound Ares to a misformed pulp." said Daimon surprisingly calm for a person who was fighting the war god with a water bottle.

"Okay then." murmured Annabeth.

**But Mr. Brunner, our Latin teacher, was leading this trip, so I had hopes.**

**Mr. Brunner was this middle-aged guy in a motorized wheelchair. He had thinning hair and a scruffy beard and a frayed tweed jacket, which always smelled like coffee. You wouldn't think he'd be cool, but he told stories and jokes and let us play games in class. He also had this awesome collection of Roman armor and weapons, so he was the only teacher whose class didn't put me to sleep.**

"Hey, that dude sounds kinda familiar." said Hermes.

"I know right." replied Apollo.

"Wow Perce, you have only one class that doesn't put you to sleep and it _had _to be about weapons." exclaimed Mike.

"I'm really starting to like this guy." murmured Hephaestus thoughtfully.

**I hoped this trip would be okay. At least, I hoped that for once I wouldn't get in trouble. **

"You always get into trouble Kelp' for' brains." cried out Thalia.

**Boy was I wrong **

"Well no fricken duh!" yelled Daimon who had returned with a new bottle of water and a crippled Ares.

**See, bad things happen to me on field trips like at my fifth-grade school, when we went to the Saratoga Battlefield, I had this accident with a Revolutionary War cannon.**

"How exactly?" asked Athena.

**I wasn't aiming for the school bus, but of course I got expelled anyway.**

"Oh, that's how." Athena muttered as her question was answered.

**And before that at his fourth-grade school, when we took a behind-the-scenes tour of the Marine World shark pool, I sort of hit the wrong lever on the catwalk and we went for an unplanned swim.**

**And the time before that… Well, you get the idea.**

"Yes we do thank you very much." moaned Dionysus as he slumped in the sofa's cushions.

**This trip, I was determined to be good.**

"Not remotely possible I'm afraid." stated Annabeth.

**All the way into the city, I put up with Nancy Bobofit, the freckly, redheaded kleptomaniac girl, hitting my best friend Grover**

"Ew, she was hitting on Grover, that's just wrong!" cried out Nico, shielding his eyes as though trying to avoid being scared for life.

**in the back of the head with chunks of peanut butter-and-ketchup sandwich. **

"You know, I'm really starting to dislike this Nancy person. Hey Hermes can you do me a favor?" asked Poseidon to which Hermes shrugged and walked over to him. Poseidon whispered in his ear and Hermes nodded.

Hermes then disappeared only to reappear with a freckly, redheaded kleptomaniac girl. "Hi everyone, I would like you all to meet Nancy Bobofit. Who Poseidon will be blasting with boiling hot water.."

Poseidon raised his trident and began to blast a stream of super hot water for about five minutes.

Hermes then disappeared with the girl and reappeared without her. He returned to his seat and they continued with the story.

**Grover was an easy target. He was scrawny. He cried when he got frustrated. He must've been held back several grades, because he was the only sixth grader with acne and the start of a wispy beard on his chin. On top of all that he was crippled.**

"Very nice description of one of your best friends eh Perce?" called Nico to which Percy sighed at.

**He had some kind of muscular disease in his legs. He walked funny, like every step hurt him, but don't let that fool you. You should've seen him run when it was enchilada day in the cafeteria.**

"Way to blow your cover Goat boy. But he always did like enchiladas." murmured Thalia

**Anyway, Nancy Bobofit was throwing wads of sandwich that stuck in his curly brown hair, and she knew I couldn't do anything back to her because I was already on probation. The headmaster has threatened me with death by in- school suspension if anything bad, embarrassing, or even mildly entertaining happened on this trip.**

"He dare threaten my son!" thundered Poseidon, slamming his trident into the ground.

**"I'm going to kill her," I mumbled**

**Grover tried to calm me down. "It's okay. I like peanut butter." **

**He dodged another piece of Nancy's lunch. "That's it." I started to get up, but Grover pulled me back to my seat.**

**"You're already on probation," he reminded me. "You know you'll get blamed if anything happens." Looking back on it, I wish I would have decked Nancy Bobofit right then and there.**

"You should have." said Artemis, surprising everyone.

**In-school suspension would have been nothing compared to the mess I was about to get myself into.**

"Yeah but if you did get a suspension you wouldn't have saved the world, saved Thalia, saved the Di Angelo's, saved the two camps, saved Olympus, met the gods, met your father, met the demititans, or have met your girlfriend." said Anabeth and Percy couldn't argue with that.

**Mr. Brunner led the museum tour. He rode up front in his wheelchair, guiding us through the big echoey galleries, past marble statues and glass cases full of really old black-and-orange pottery. It blew my mind that this stuff had survived for two thousand, three thousand years.**

"Of course we survived for two or three thousand years, we are gods after all!" exclaimed Zeus.

"Dear," Hera whispered to Zeus "I think he meant the artifacts."

**He gathered us around a thirteen-foot-tall stone column with a big sphinx on the top, and started telling us how it was a grave marker, a _stele_, for a girl about our age. He told us about the carvings on the sides. I was trying to listen to what he had to say, because it was a kind of interesting, but everybody around me was talking and every time I told them to shut up, the other teacher chaperone, Mrs. Dodds, would give me the evil eye.**

**Mrs. Dodds was this little math teacher from Georgia who always wore a black leather jacket, even though she was fifty years old.**

'_That sounds familiar.' _thought Hades

**She looked mean enough to drive a Harley right into your locker.**

_'Hey that sounds like a fury.' _Hades and Nico thought simultaneously.

**She came to Yancy halfway through the school year, when our last math teacher had a nervous breakdown.**

_'Sounds like Alecto, Poseidon's probably gonna kill dad.' _Nico thought.

**From her first day, Mrs. Dodds loved Nancy Bobofit and figured I was devil spawn. She would point her crooked finger at me and say, "Now, honey," real sweet sand I knew I was going to get after-school detention for a month. **

**One time, after she'd made me erase answers out of the old math workbooks until midnight, I told Grover I didn't think Mrs. Dodds was human. He looked at me, real serious, and said, "You're absolutely right." **

"Now this is the first signs of the end of a normal life and beginning of a weirder one." muttered Mike.

"Yeah but Mike," Nico called "At least in this weird life Percy met the great and awesome Nico!"

Percy snorted.

**Mr. Brunner kept talking about Greek funeral art. Finally, Nancy Bobofit snickered something about the naked guy on the stele, **

"I'm willing to bet fifty drachmas that it was Apollo on the _stele."_ said Hephaestus to which he and Hermes shook hands. Hermes disappeared and then reappeared with a picture of a _stele_. An angry looking Hermes paid fifty drachmas.

**and I turned around and said, "Will you _shut up_?"**

"Yeah score three for Perce!" cried Daimon who put another check mark next to his name.

**It came out louder than I meant it to.**

"Of course it did Percy." muttered Athena.

**Mr. Brunner stopped his story. "Mr. Jackson," he said "did you have a comment?"**

"No but I do old guy!" yelled Mike to which he earned a glare from the daughter of Athena.

**My face was totally red. I said, "No sir."**

**Mr. Brunner pointed to one of the pictures on the stele. "Perhaps you'll tell us what this picture represents?"**

"I would but I can't see it." said Annabeth.

**I looked at the carving, and felt a flush of relief, because I actually recognized it.**

"OMG's Percy recognized something!" Thalia yelled and Nico and Annabeth snickered.

**"That's Kronos eating his kids, right?"**

"Oh it was horrible in their. Hades and Poseidon smelt of puberty, Hestia did nothing all day, and Demeter was telling us even then to eat more cereal." groaned Hera.

"I'm so glad I never met dad." Jake muttered. This time even Zeus burst out laughing.

**"Yes," Mr. Brunner said, obviously not satisfied."And he did this because…" **

"Because he was a FREAK!" screamed Mike holding up a sign that said 'Kronos is a homeless freak who eat his kids, please throw rocks!'.

**"Well…" I racked my brain to remember. "Kronos was the king god, and-"**

"Kronos was a god?! Percy exactly what class did you take for Greek Mythology?" asked Poseidon.

**"God?" Mr. Brunner asked. **

**"Titan," I correct myself. "And…he didn't trust his kids, who were the gods. **

"Nope they were not gods, they were weird dudes who couldn't die!" called out Daimon to which he earnt seven glares.

**But his wife hid baby Zeus, and gave him a rock to eat instead.**

"I wonder what rocks taste like." murmured Hermes and Apollo nodded in agreement only to have Jake stick rocks in each of their mouths.

**And later, when Zeus grew up he tricked his dad, Kronos, into barfing up his brothers and sisters-**

"It was absolutely horrible, it was worse than being stuck with two boys in eternal puberty and no shower!" screamed Demeter.

**"Eeew!" said one of the girls behind me.**

"Got that right!" moaned Hera.**  
"-And so there was this fight between the gods and the Titans," I continued "and the gods won."**

"No Einstein won you idiot!" yelled Nico.

**Some snickers from the group. Behind me, Nancy Bobofit mumbled to a friend, "Like we're going to use this in real life.**

"If you were a demigod you would." explained Thalia.

**Like it's going to say on our job applications, 'Please explain why Kronos ate his kids.'" **

"It might if your signing a form to become a god." murmured Nico.

"There are forms?" Thalia asked. Zeus nodded at his daughter.

**"And why, Mr. Jackson," Mr. Brunner said, "to paraphrase Miss Bobofit's excellent question, does this matter in real life?"**

"It's so you learn Greek Mythology and figure out the perfect way to get goddesses." said Nico. Annabeth slapped the back of his head.

**"Busted," Grover muttered.**

"Score one for Grover!" called out Daimon.

**"Shut up," Nancy hissed, her face was even brighter red than her hair.**

"Wow that must have been a really red face." said Apollo.

**At least Nancy got packed, too. Mr. Brunner was the only one who ever caught her saying anything wrong. He had radar ears. **

"Actually he has horse ears." muttered Nico.

**I thought about the question, and shrugged. "I don't know, sir."**

"It seems Nico knows." praised Hermes giving Nico a grin.

**"I see," Mr. Brunner said disappointed. "Well, half credit, Mr. Jackson. Zeus did indeed feed Kronos a mixture of mustard and wine, which made him disgorge his other five children, who, of course, being immortal gods, had been living and growing up completely undigested in the Titan's stomach. The gods defeated their father, sliced him to pieces with his own scythe, and scattered his remains in Tartarus, the darkest part of the Underworld.**

"Of course it _had_ to be in the Underworld didn't it." murmured Hades with a sigh.

**On that happy note, it's time for lunch.**

"Yes that's a _very_ happy note." muttered Athena.

**Mrs. Dodds would you lead us back outside?" **

**The class drifted off, the girls holding their stomachs, the guys pushing each other around and acting like doofuses.**

"So like normal boys then." Thalia, Annabeth, and the goddesses all burst into hysterics.

**Grover and I were about to follow when Mr. Brunner said, "Mr. Jackson." **

**I knew that was coming.**

"Whoa, Percy's gone psychic." yelled Mike holding up a sign that said 'Five Drachmas for talk with Psychic Percy'.

**I told Grover to keep going. Then I turned toward Mr. Brunner. "Sir?"**

**Mr. Brunner had this look that wouldn't let you go- intense brown eyes that could've been a thousand years old and had seen everything.**

"Actually their older." stated Annabeth with a grin.

**"You must learn the answer to my question," Mr. Brunner told me.**

**"About the Titans?" **

**"About real life. And how your studies apply to it." **

**"Oh."**

"That is Percy's number one most common answer." said Nico and the whole room laughed

**What you learn from me," he said, "is vitally important. I expect you to treat it as such. I will accept only the best from you, Percy Jackson." **

**I wanted to get angry; this guy pushed me so hard.**

"He needs to. For your survival." murmured Athena, and Percy nodded.

**I mean sure it was kind of cool on tournament days, when he dressed up in a suit of Roman armor and shouted: "What ho!"and challenged us, sword point against chalk, to run to the board and name every Greek and Roman person who had ever lived, and their mother, and what god they worshiped. But Mr. Brunner expected me to be as good as everybody else, despite the fact that I have dyslexia and attention deficit disorder and I had never made above a C- in my life.**

"Hey Percy compared to me that's not so bad. I've never gotten above an F- on my test's in all of my life." said Daimon, and Annabeth sighed at the fact that one of her new friends was an idiot when it came to mortal school studies.

**No- he didn't expect me to be _as good_: he expected me to be _better_. And I just couldn't learn all those names and facts, much less spell them correctly. **

**I mumbled something about trying harder, while Mr. Brunner took one long sad look at the stele, like** **he's been at this girl's funeral.**

"He probably did." muttered Poseidon.

**He told me to go outside and eat my lunch.**

**The class gathered on the front steps of the museum, where we could watch the foot traffic along Fifth Avenue.**

**Overhead, a huge storm was brewing, with clouds blacker than I'd ever seen over the city. I figured maybe it was global warming or something**

"Oh yeah it was totally global warming." grinned Annabeth which brought smiles to her six companions but left the gods confused.

**because the weather all across New York state had been weird since Christmas.**

"I wondered what happened during that time." said Thalia with a sly grin which left the gods even more confused.

**We'd had massive snow storms, flooding, and wild fires from lightning strikes. I wouldn't have been surprised if this wasn't a hurricane blowing in.**

**Nobody else seemed to notice.**

"I'm always surprised by how ignorant mortals." murmured Artemis who now resting on a pillow sharpening arrows. Percy blushed for some reason. Suddenly Jake perked up and gave Percy a glare.

"I can guess what you're thinking Sea splat."

Percy sighed. "I wasn't thinking _that._"

Nico and Daimon snorted. Thalia rolled her eyes. The gods let it slide, completely confused.

**Some of the guys were pelting pigeons with lunchables crackers. Nancy Bobofit was trying to pickpocket something from a lady's purse, and, of course, Mrs. Dodds wasn't seeing a thing.**

"Of course the devil spawn wouldn't notice anything." muttered Mike who was now playing go-fish with Daimon and Dionysus.

**Grover and I sat on the edge of the fountain, away from the others. We thought that maybe if we did that, everybody wouldn't know we were from**_** that **_**school-the school for loser freaks who couldn't make it elsewhere.**

"Did it work." asked a snickering Nico.

"No." sighed Percy.

**"Detention?" Grover asked.**

**"Nah," I said. "Not from Brunner. I just wish he'd lay off me sometimes. I mean-I'm not a genius."**

Nearly everyone in the room snorted at this.

**Grover didn't say anything for a while. Then, when I thought he was going to give me some deep philosophical comment to make me feel better, he said, "Can I have your apple?"**

"Way to go Goat Boy." muttered Thalia.

**I didn't have much of an appetite, so I let him take it. I watched the stream of cabs going down Fifth Avenue, and thought about my mum's apartment, only a little ways uptown from where we sat. I hadn't seen her since Christmas. I wanted so bad to jump in a taxi and head home. She'd hug me and be glad to see me, but she'd be disappointed, too. She'd send me right back to Yancy, remind me that I had to try harder, even if this was my sixth school in six years and I was probably going to be kicked out again. I wouldn't be able to stand that sad look she'd give me.**

Percy sighed while Ares yelled "Momma's boy!"

**Mr. Brunner parked his wheelchair at the base of the handicapped ramp. He ate celery while he read a paperback novel. A red umbrella stuck up from the back of his chair, making it look like a motorized cafe table. **

"That sounds awesome." yelled Nico and a few others nodded in agreement.

**I was about to unwrap my sandwich when Nancy Bobofit appeared in front of me with her ugly friends-I guess she'd gotten tired of stealing from the tourists****-and dumped her half-eaten lunch in Grover's lap.**

Anger rolled of Annabeth and Thalia like a furnace, Daimon and Nico quickly scrambled back.

**"Oops." She grinned at me with her crooked teeth. Her freckles were orange, as if somebody had spray- painted her face with liquid Cheetos. **

Apollo and Hermes burst out laughing at the description.

**I tried to stay cool. The school counselor had told me a million times, "Count to ten, get control of your temper.**

"Don't listen to counselors. Their stupid idiots with no good idea of what your problems are!" Nico yelled.

**But I was so mad my mind went blank. A wave roared in my ears.**

"Score four for Perce." came a shout and everyone saw Daimon writing another check mark.

**I don't remember touching her, but the next thing I knew, Nancy was sitting on her butt in the fountain, screaming, "Percy pushed me!"**

**Mrs. Dodds materialized next to us.**

"That sounds creepy." whispered Apollo to Hermes, and Hades paled as he realized that it was most likely a Fury.

**Some of the kids were whispering: "Did you see—"**

**"—the water—"**

**"—like it grabbed her—"**

"Thanks for the awesome powers dad." Percy called to his father and Poseidon grinned.

**I didn't know what they were talking about.**

"You never do." said Nico while Thalia and Annabeth smiled at him.

**All I knew was that I was in trouble again.**

"Obviously." muttered Mike who was looking suspiciously at the diet coke Dionysus had given him.

**As soon as Mrs. Dodds was sure poor little Nancy was okay, promising to get her a new shirt at the museum gift shop, etc., etc., Mrs. Dodds turned on me. There was a triumphant fire in her eyes, as if I'd done something she'd been waiting for all semester. **

"She probably had." nodded Athena knowing for a fact that this creature was a monster.

**"Now, honey—"**

"What is it with the 'honeys'?" Demeter asked.

**I know," I grumbled. "A month erasing workbooks."**

"That wasn't the right thing say." said Thalia.

**That wasn't the right thing to say.**

"You two were definitely siblings in a past life." exclaimed Apollo to which most of the companions and gods nodded at.

**"Come with me," Mrs. Dodds said.**

**"Wait!" Grover yelped. "It was me. I pushed her."**

**I stared at him, stunned. I couldn't believe he was trying to cover for me. Mrs. Dodds scared Grover to death.**

"I owe him more than I can ever repay." murmured Percy, and Thalia and Annabeth nodded sadly in agreement.

**She glared at him so hard his whiskery chin trembled.**

"That would look funny." laughed Daimon while Mike continued to study the ever suspicious diet coke.

**"I don't think so, Mr. Underwood," she said.**

**"But—"**

**"You—will—stay—here."**

**Grover looked at me desperately.**

**"It's okay, man," I told him. "Thanks for trying."**

**"Honey," Mrs. Dodds barked at me. "Now."**

**Nancy Bobofit smirked.**

"I really want to hurt her now." growled Poseidon and most of the males in the room cowered in fear other than Percy, who was calming him down, and Mike, who was submerged in interest for the coke can.

**I gave her my deluxe I'll-kill-you-later stare.**"

"You had one of those, I never noticed." mused a thoughtful Nico.

**Then I turned to face Mrs. Dodds, but she wasn't there. She was standing at the museum entrance, way at the top of the steps, gesturing impatiently at me to come on.**

"Women are always impatient, going do this, and do that. They're a real pain in the neck." said Daimon which earnt him a glare from every women in the room.

**How'd she get there so fast?**

**I have moments like that a lot, when my brain falls asleep or something, and the next thing I know I've missed something, as if a puzzle piece fell out of the universe and left me staring at the blank place behind it. The school counselor told me this was part of the ADHD, my brain misinterpreting things.**

"So if you, like...jumped off a cliff, your brain might think you were jumping off a diving board?" questioned Thalia to which she earnt no reply.

**I wasn't so sure.**

**I went after Mrs. Dodds.**

"Mistake number 565. And that was _before_ you knew you were a half-blood." said Annabeth.

**Halfway up the steps, I glanced back at Grover. He was looking pale, cutting his eyes between me and Mr. Brunner, like he wanted Mr. Brunner to notice what was going on, but Mr. Brunner was absorbed in his novel.**

**I looked back up. Mrs. Dodds had disappeared again. She was now inside the building, at the end of the entrance hall.**

**Okay, I thought. She's going to make me buy a new shirt for Nancy at the gift shop.**

**But apparently that wasn't the plan.**

**I followed her deeper into the museum. When I finally caught up to her, we were back in the Greek and Roman section.**

**Except for us, the gallery was empty.**

**Mrs. Dodds stood with her arms crossed in front of a big marble frieze of the Greek gods. She was making this weird noise in her throat, like growling.**

**Even without the noise, I would've been nervous. It's weird being alone with a teacher, especially Mrs. Dodds. Something about the way she looked at the frieze, as if she wanted to pulverize it...**

"She must really hate you then." muttered a scared looking Hades.

**"You've been giving us problems, honey," she said.**

**I did the safe thing.**

"Ha, since when did you do the safe thing." asked a laughing Nico.

**I said, "Yes, ma'am."**

**She tugged on the cuffs of her leather jacket. "Did you really think you would get away with it?"**

**The look in her eyes was beyond mad. It was evil.**

**She's a teacher, I thought nervously. It's not like she's going to hurt me.**

"Oh yeah, keep thinking that." said a bored looking Mike as he inspected his can for the fiftieth time.

**I said, "I'll—I'll try harder, ma'am."**

**Thunder shook the building.**

**"We are not fools, Percy Jackson," Mrs. Dodds said. "It was only a matter of time before we found you out. Confess, and you will suffer less pain."**

"It really gets your adrenaline running thinking about pulverizing her doesn't it?" asked a meditating Daimon.

**I didn't know what she was talking about.**

**All I could think of was that the teachers must've found the illegal stash of candy I'd been selling out of my dorm room. Or maybe they'd realized I got my essay on Tom Sawyer from the Internet without ever reading the book and now they were going to take away my grade. Or worse, they were going to make me read the book.**

"I know it's horror." moaned Nico while Athena made a book appear and tossed it to Percy. The label read 'Tom Sawyer's Adventures'.

Jake looked over and snapped his fingers. The book turned into a dragon which proceeded to bite Athena's finger.

**"Well?" she demanded.**

**"Ma'am, I don't..."**

**"Your time is up," she hissed.**

**Then the weirdest thing happened. Her eyes began to glow like barbecue coals. Her fingers stretched, turning into talons. Her jacket melted into large, leathery wings. She wasn't human. She was a shriveled hag with bat wings and claws and a mouth full of yellow fangs, and she was about to slice me to ribbons.**

Poseidon gave Hades a long glare.

**Then things got even stranger.**

"That's like saying Mt. Everest is going to get bigger, it just can't happen." said Daimon.

**Mr. Brunner, who'd been out in front of the museum a minute before, wheeled his chair into the doorway of the gallery, holding a pen in his hand.  
"What ho, Percy!" he shouted, and tossed the pen through the air. Mrs. Dodds lunged at me.**

**With a yelp, I dodged and felt talons slash the air next to my ear. I snatched the ballpoint pen out of the air, but when it hit my hand, it wasn't a pen anymore. It was a sword—Mr. Brunner's bronze sword, which he always used on tournament day.**

"Hey Daimon, Everest just grew three feet higher." grinned Percy.

**Mrs. Dodds spun toward me with a murderous look in her eyes. **

**My knees were jelly. My hands were shaking so bad I almost dropped the sword. **

"That wouldn't have been good." whispered Hermes.

**She snarled, "Die, honey!" And she flew straight at me.**

**Absolute terror ran through my body. I did the only thing that came naturally: I swung the sword.**

"Yep you're a demigod alright." murmured Athena with a nod.

**The metal blade hit her shoulder and passed clean through her body as if she were made of water.**

"Ironic huh." said Daimon to a still suspicious Mike.

**Hisss!**

**Mrs. Dodds was a sand castle in a power fan. She exploded into yellow powder, vaporized on the spot, leaving nothing but the smell of sulfur and a dying screech and a chill of evil in the air, as if those two glowing red eyes were still watching me.**

"Cree-py." yelled Nico.**  
I was alone.  
There was a ballpoint pen in my hand.  
Mr. Brunner wasn't there. Nobody was there but me.**

**My hands were still trembling. My lunch must've been contaminated with magic mushrooms or something.**

"Do they exist?" asked Nico to Annabeth.

**Had I imagined the whole thing? I went back outside. It had started to rain.**

**Grover was sitting by the fountain, a museum map tented over his head. Nancy Bobofit was still standing there, soaked from her swim in the fountain, grumbling to her ugly friends. When she saw me, she said, "I hope Mrs. Kerr whipped your butt."**

"Who?" asked Thalia confused.

**I said, "Who?"**

"Seriously who were you two in a past life?" screeched Nico.

**"Our_ teacher_. Duh!"**

**I blinked. We had no teacher named Mrs. Kerr. I asked Nancy what she was talking about. She just rolled her eyes and turned away. I asked Grover where Mrs. Dodds was.**

**He said, "Who?"**

**But he paused first, and he wouldn't look at me, so I thought he was messing with me.**

"Way to blow your cover Goat boy." muttered Annabeth.

**"Not funny, man," I told him. "This is serious." **

**Thunder boomed overhead.**

"Zeus, you got issues!" yelled Hera, and Thalia, Nico, Daimon, Percy, Apollo, and Hermes nodded in agreement. Zeus blushed in embarrassment.

**I saw Mr. Brunner sitting under his red umbrella, reading his book, as if he'd never moved. **

**I went over to him.**

**He looked up, a little distracted. "Ah, that would be my pen. Please bring your own writing utensil in the future, Mr. Jackson."**

"But I liked Anaklusmos." moaned Percy, acting like a child. Thalia sent a volt of lightning at him.

**I handed Mr. Brunner his pen. I hadn't even realized I was still holding it.**

**"Sir," I said, "where's Mrs. Dodds?"**

**He stared at me blankly. "Who?"**

"Enough with the fricken 'who's'!" Mike shouted, his Diet coke can was still being observed.

**"The other chaperon. Mrs. Dodds. The pre-algebra teacher."**

**He frowned and sat forward, looking mildly concerned. "Percy, there is no Mrs. Dodds on this trip. As far as I know, there has never been a Mrs. Dodds at Yancy Academy. Are you feeling all right?"**

"No he is not!" yelled Nico.

"That's the end of chapter one, who want's to read chapter two?" asked Athena. Annabeth raised her hand and Athena passed her daughter the book.

"Okay," said the daughter of wisdom, "Let's meet these old 'Ladies'!"


	2. LOL: NICO 3 ALCOHOL

**Pertemis: Reading The Lightning Thief**

**Chapter two:**

**Nico discovers alcohol as we read chapter two!**

I do not own Pjo or anything else apart from the demititans.

**Three old ladies knit the socks of death!**

Annabeth began to read chapter two while Mike glared at his diet coke suspiciously.

**I was used to the occasional weird experience, but usually they were over quickly.**

"Usually?" questioned Athena, looking at the embarrassed son of Poseidon.

**This twenty-four/seven hallucination was more than I could handle. **

"I've had seventy-two hour hallucination's before. I thought Artemis had turned into a bat, but she eventually slapped me back to reality." Apollo mused to which Artemis nodded in agreement.

**For the rest of the school year, the entire campus seemed to be playing some kind of trick on me. **

**The students acted as if they were completely and totally convinced that Mrs. Kerr-a perky blond woman whom I'd never seen in my life until she got on our bus at the end of the field trip-had been our pre-algebra teacher since Christmas.**

"The Mist is a powerful weapon, and the mind capacity of the mortal race are shockingly small." stated Thalia who was practicing an ancient art of Buddha relaxation.

**Every so often I would spring a Mrs. Dodds reference on somebody, just to see if I could trip them up, but they would stare at me like I was psycho.**

"Cause' you _are _psycho Perce." laughed Nico while Thalia nodded in agreement with a grin.

"Don't push your luck Nico. Psycho people do psychotic things." said Percy with a evil look on his face.

"Wow. A spawn of barnacle beard actually knows some big words. Congrats." muttered Athena while Poseidon glared at her.

"You can so tell that the two of you like each other. It's like a black blotch on a white sheet, plain obvious." said Daimon with a sly grin and the two said people blushed ruby crimson.

"Athena and Poseidon sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes-" sang Nico while the two Olympians looked away and blushed harder.

"Ew, Eeew, Eeew! I don't want to know what comes next!" yelled Annabeth and Percy, cutting Nico off while he and Thalia burst into a fit of hysterics.

**It got so I almost believed them-Mrs. Dodds had never existed.**

"The key word is 'Almost'." said Thalia, recovering from her recent fit of laughter.

**Almost.**

"You two _had_ to be siblings in your past life. You're just to similar. Now that I think about it, you might have been a lot like Apollo and Artemis." stated Hestia, and Percy and Thalia grinned at each other.

**But Grover couldn't fool me.**

"Yeah, donkeys are pretty bad liars." explained Jake.

**When I mentioned the name Dodds to him, he would hesitate, then claim she didn't exist. But I knew he was lying.**

"Of course you did Percy." Annabeth said sarcastically.

"I did." replied Percy indignantly.

**Something was going on. Something _had_ happened at the museum.**

"Well no fricken duh." yelled Mike, still eying his can of diet coke.

**I didn't have much time to think about it during the days, but at night, visions of Mrs. Dodds with talons and leathery wings would wake me up in a cold sweat.**

**The freak weather continued, which didn't help my mood. One night, a thunderstorm blew out the windows in my dorm room. A few days later, the biggest tornado ever spotted in the Hudson Valley touched down only fifty miles from Yancy Academy.**

"Man Zeus, you need a therapist." shouted Poseidon.

**One of the current events we studied in social studies class was the unusual number of small planes that had gone down in sudden squalls in the Atlantic that year.**

"Poseidon needs one too." said Daimon while Poseidon just gaped at him. Athena gave Daimon a thumbs up in agreement.

**I started feeling cranky and irritable most of the time. My grades slipped from D's to F's.**

"Then he's definitely your son fish face." laughed Athena only to have Percy sighed in shame.

**I got into more fights with Nancy Bobofit and her friends. I was sent out into the hallway in almost every class.**

**Finally, when our English teacher, Mr. Nicoll, asked me for the millionth time why I was too lazy to study for spelling tests, I snapped. I called him an old sot. I wasn't even sure what it meant, but it sounded good.**

"I should add that to my list of offensive words to use in public." mused Nico, pulling out a leather-bound book thicker that a Thesaurus and Dictionary combined.

**The headmaster sent my mum a letter the following week, making it official: I would not be invited back next year to Yancy Academy.**

**Fine, I told myself. Just fine.**

**I was homesick.**

"Does somebody miss his mothers blue cookies?" asked Annabeth and Percy nodded in response.

**I wanted to be with my mum in our little apartment on the Upper East Side, even if I had to go to public school and put up with my obnoxious stepfather and his stupid poker parties.**

"Yeah, he's a real work of art. Literally." said Nico and all seven of the companions burst out laughing.

**And yet . . . there were things I'd miss at Yancy. The view of the woods out my dorm window, the Hudson River in the distance, the smell of pine trees. I'd miss Grover, who'd been a good friend, even if he was a little strange.**

"That's kind of you Percy." Aphrodite told him and Percy nodded in thanks.

**I worried how he'd survive next year without me. I'd miss Latin class, too-Mr. Brunner's crazy tournament days in his faith that I could do well.**

**As exam week got closer, Latin was the only test I studied for. **

**I hadn't forgotten what Mr. Brunner told me about this subject being life-a-death for me. I wasn't sure why, but I'd started to believe him.**

"It was because of your blank DNA genes." stated Annabeth and for that she earned a soft punch to the shoulder.

**The evening before my final, I got so frustrated I threw the _Cambridge Guide to Greek Mythology _across my dorm room. **

"How could you?" asked a shocked Athena.

**Words had started swimming off the page, circling my head, the letters doing one-eighties as if they were riding skateboards. There was no way I was going to remember the difference between Chiron and Charon, or Polydictes and Polydeuces. And conjugating those Latin Verbs? Forget it.**

**I paced the room, feeling like ants were crawling around inside my shirt.**

Hermes and Apollo both shuddered.

**I remembered Mr. Brunner's serious expression, his thousand-year-old eyes. _I will accept only the best from you, Percy Jackson._**

**I took a deep breath. I picked up my mythology book.**

**I'd never asked a teacher for help before. Maybe if I talked to Mr. Brunner, he could give me some pointers. At least I could apologize for the big fat F I was about to score on his exam. I didn't want to leave Yancy Academy with him thinking I hadn't tried.**

**I walked downstairs to the faculty offices. Most of them were dark and empty, but Mr. Brunner's door was ajar, light from his window stretching across the hallway floor.**

"Sounds eerie." whispered Nico.

"You've lived in the Underworld for Iapetus's sake." cried Annabeth.

"Hey! Don't offend Uncle Bob." Daimon yelled, laughing.

**I was three steps from the door handle when I heard voices inside the office. Mr. Brunner asked a question. A voice was definitely Grover's said ". . . worried about Percy, sir."**

**I froze.**

**I'm not usually an eavesdropper,**

"Oh yeah, then how did you figure out Annabeth and Connor were thinking about having a child?" asked Thalia giving Percy an evil eye.

"Nico told me." replied Percy casually.

"That's your number one answer after 'Oh'." Annabeth told him.

"Yeah but Nico seriously told me." Percy said.

"I did." said Nico, siding with Percy.

**but I dare you to try not listening if you hear your best friend talking about you to an adult.**

"It's not the easiest thing on the planet." Mike agreed, never wavering his line of vision from the can.

**I inched closer.**

**". . . alone this summer." Grover was saying. "I mean, a Kindly One in the _school_! Now that we know for sure, and _they_ know too-"**

**"We would only make matters worse by rushing him." Mr. Brunner said. "We need the boy to mature more."**

"You still haven't." laughed Nico.

"Neither have you." Percy shot back.

**"But he may not have time. The summer solstice dead-line-"**

"Wait a minute." said Athena "The thief of lightning and a deadline."

Artemis's eyes widened "The deadline for the return of lightning. Zeus and Poseidon angry...I know what happened."

"As do I sister, as do I." murmured Athena.

"Told you they would figure it out first." said Daimon, and Mike handed over ten silver coins.

**"Will have to be resolved without him, Grover. Let him enjoy his ignorance while he still can."**

**"Sir, he _saw_ her . . ."**

**"His imagination," Mr. Brunner insisted. "The Mist over the students and staff will be enough to convince him of that."**

**"Sir, I . . . I can't fail in my duties again." Grover's voice was choked with emotion. "You know what that would mean."**

"It wasn't your fault Grover." whispered Thalia.

**"You haven't failed, Grover," Mr. Brunner said kindly. "I should have seen her for what she was. Now let's just worry about keeping Percy alive until next fall-"**

**The mythology book dropped out of my hand and hit the floor with a thud.**

**Mr. Brunner went silent.**

"Busted." muttered Apollo.

**My heart hammering, I picked up the book and backed down the hall.**

**A shadow slid across the lighted glass of Brunner's office door, the shadow of something much taller than my wheelchair-bound teacher, holding something that looked suspiciously like an archer's bow.**

"I'm guessing I know who he is?" asked Athena with her eyebrows raised. Percy nodded.

**I opened the nearest door and slipped inside.**

**A few seconds later I heard a slow _clop-clop-clop,_like muffled wood blocks, then a sound like an animal snuffling right outside my door. A large, dark shape paused in front of the glass, then moved on.**

**A bead of sweat tickled down my neck.**

**Somewhere in the hallway, Mr. Brunner spoke. "Nothing," he murmured. "My nerves haven't been right since the winter solstice."**

"So that's when it happened." whispered Artemis.

**"Mine neither," Grover said. "But I could have sworn . . ."**

**"Go back to the dorm," Mr. Brunner told him. You've got a long day of exams tomorrow."**

**"Don't remind me."**

**The lights went out in Mr. Brunner's office.**

**I waited in the dark for what seemed like forever. **

**Finally, I slipped out into the hallway and made my way back up to the dorm.**

**Grover was lying on his bed, studying his Latin exam notes like he'd been there all night.**

"Yeah right." grinned Hermes.

**"Hey," he said, bleary-eyed. "You going to get ready for this test?"**

**I didn't answer.**

**"You look awful." **

"Ha, you got owned by a donkey." mocked Jake.

**He frowned. "Is everything okay?"**

**"Just . . . tired."**

**I turned so he couldn't read my expression,**

"He could sense your emotions." stated Athena.

"Yeah well, I didn't exactly know he was a satyr back then did I?" asked Percy.

**and started getting ready for bed.**

**I didn't understand what I'd heard downstairs. I wanted to believe I'd imagined the whole thing.**

"You didn't." muttered Daimon.

**But one thing was clear: Grover and Mr. Brunner were talking about me behind my back. They thought I was in some kind of danger.**

**The next afternoon, as I was leaving the three-hour Latin exam,**

"THREE HOURS!?" screamed Nico "THAT'S WORSE THAN THE BLOODY FIELDS OF PUNISHMENT!"

**my eyes swimming with all the Greek and Roman names I'd misspelled, Mr. Brunner called me back inside.**

"This can't be good." sighed Poseidon.

**For a moment I was worried he'd found out about my eavesdropping the night before, but that didn't seem to be the problem.**

**"Percy," he said. "Don't be discouraged about leaving Yancy. It's . . . it's for the best."**

"That was harsh." whispered Thalia.

**His tone was kind, but the words still embarrassed me. Even though he was speaking quietly, the other kids finishing the test could hear. Nancy Bobofit smirked at me and made sarcastic kissing motions with her lips.**

Annabeth then said "It's kind of funny how she accidentally made a whole races of divine people hate her guts with a passion."

**I mumbled, "Okay, sir."**

**"I mean . . ." Mr. Brunner wheeled his chair back and forth, like he wasn't sure what to say. "This isn't the right place for you. It was only a matter of time."**

"Again, harsh." Thalia murmured.

**Here was my favorite teacher, in front of the class, telling me I couldn't handle it. After saying he believed in me all year, now he was telling me I was destined to get kicked out. **

"Poor Percy." whispered Aphrodite.

**"Right." I said, trembling.**

**"No, no" Mr. Brunner said. Oh, confound it all. What I'm trying to say . . . you're not normal, Percy. That's nothing to be-"**

**"Thanks," I blurted. "Thanks a lot, sir, for reminding me."**

"Ouch." said Artemis.

**"Percy-"**

**But I was already gone.**

**On the last day of the term, I shoved my clothes into my suitcase.**

"Angry much." growled Ares.

"Shut your trap Ares or I swear you'll spend the next millenia in a place that makes Tartarus look like the fricken Isle's of Bless!" yelled Daimon and Ares reeled back in fear, he did _not_ want to anger the son of Hyperion again.

**The other guys were joking around, talking about their vacation plans. One of them was going on a hiking trip to Switzerland. Another was cruising the Caribbean for a month. They were juvenile delinquents, like me, but they were _rich_ juvenile delinquents. Their daddies were executives or ambassadors, or celebrities. I was a nobody, from a family of nobodies.**

"I would like to state the fact that your family are rulers of the whole galaxy." grinned Hestia.

**They asked me what I'd be doing this summer and I told them I was going back to the city.**

**What I didn't tell them was that I'd have to get a summer job walking dogs or selling magazine subscriptions, and spend my free time worrying about where I'd go to school in the fall.**

**"Oh," one of the guys said. "That's cool."**

**They went back to their conversation as if I'd never existed.**

"I absolutely hate the human race with a passion that rivals just about anything in existence." Jake growled.

"I thought that was your half-sister." Mike questioned.

"Yeah well I hate them more than her now. So ha!"

"There is another child of Kronos?" Hera questioned.

"Nope. My mother sent her to the current time period so I could protect her." Jake explained.

**The only person I dreaded saying good-bye to was Grover, but as it turned out, I didn't have to. He'd booked a ticket to Manhattan on the same Greyhound as I had, so there we were, together again, heading into the city.**

**During the whole bus ride, Grover kept glancing nervously down the aisle, watching the other passengers. It occurred to me that he'd always acted nervous and fidgety when we left Yancy, as if he expected something bad to happen. Before, I'd always assumed he was worried about getting teased. But there was nobody to tease him on the Greyhound.**

"That was a give away donkey-dude." muttered Mike, the can still untouched.

"What the hell is wrong with the bloody can!? It's getting on my fricken nerves!" screamed Nico.

Mike looked up at him calmly and said "This is a diet coke can from the god of _wine_ when I didn't ask for a drink. Seems suspicious also that I can see a bottle of high level alcohol concealed by Dionysus behind his throne.

"Did you say _alcohol_?" questioned Nico.

"Yeeeeeeesssssss." Mike said, drawing out the word.

Nico grabbed the can and drained it in five seconds flat. His eyes began to fly around and he was jumping up and down like he was on a pogo stick. Then he suddenly grinned...right before he fell to the floor unconscious.

"Well it seems we found a new way to get him to shut up." said Percy, breaking the awkward silence. Annabeth continued reading.

**Finally, I couldn't stand it anymore.**

**I said, "Looking for Kindly Ones?"**

**Grover nearly jumped out of his seat. "Wha- what do you mean?"**

**I confessed about eavesdropping on him and Mr. Brunner the night before the exam.**

"Rule number 34 in the lies and deceit manual: Don't confess even if the world is ending." explained Hermes. Daimon threw him a confused look.

**Grover's eye twitched. "How much did you hear?"**

**"Oh . . . not much. What's the summer solstice deadline?"**

**He winced. "Look, Percy . . . I was just worried for you, see? I mean, hallucinating about demon math teachers . . ."**

"If Nico were conscious he would say, and I quote 'I believe Alecto was in a bad mood, don't blame her.' end quote." said Annabeth.

**"Grover-"**

**"And I was telling Mr. Brunner that maybe you were overstressed or something, because there was no such person as Mrs. Dodds, and . . ."**

"Grover, you're a really, really bad liar." said Thalia.

**"Grover, you're a really, really bad liar."**

"What is up with you two? I bet if you tried you could do telepathy." muttered Artemis.

**His ears turned pink.**

**From his shirt pocket, he fished out a grubby business card. "Just take this, okay? In case you need me this summer."**

**The card was in fancy script, which was murder on my dyslexic eyes, but I finally made out something like:**

_**Grover Underwood**_

_**Keeper**_

_**Half-Blood Hill**_

_**Long Island, New York**_

_**(800) 009-0009**_

**"What's Half-"**

**"Don't say it aloud!" He yelped. "That's my, um . . . summer address."**

**My heart sank. Grover had a summer home. I'd never considered that his family might be as rich as the others at Yancy.**

"Rich? Ha!" laughed Dionysus, only to get glared at by Apollo who was trying to revive Nico.

**"Okay." I said glumly. "So, like, if I want to come visit your mansion."**

"He has a mansion, that's a new one." Annabeth murmured under her breath.

**He nodded. "Or . . . or if you need me."**

**"Why would I need you?"**

"That was a bit harsh." said Thalia.

**It came out harsher than I meant it to.**

"Telepathy." Mike whispered to his cousin's.

**Grover blushed right down to his Adam's apple. "Look Percy, the truth is, I-I kind of have to protect you."**

**I stared at him.**

**All year long, I'd gotten in fights, keeping bullies away from him. I'd lost sleep worrying that he'd get beaten up next year without me. **

"I wouldn't be worried about him right now." muttered Demeter.

**And here he was acting like he was the one who defended _me._**

**"Grover," I said, "What exactly are you protecting me from?"**

"Chaos and destruction. Death. Horror. Torture. Monsters. Heartbreak. Loss." Jake whispered.

**There was a huge grinding noise under our feet. Black smoke poured from the dashboard and the whole bus filled with a smell like rotten eggs.**

**The driver cursed and steered the Greyhound over to the side of the highway.**

**After a few minutes clanking around in the engine compartment, the driver announced that we'd all have to get off.**

**Grover and I filed outside with everybody else.**

**We were on a stretch of country road—no place you'd notice if you didn't break down there. On our side of the highway was nothing but maple trees and litter from passing cars. **

"Sounds boring." muttered Thalia.

"Blame the ADHD people. Thalia's in a bad mood." said Percy. He then lept up as he got shocked by lightning.

**On the other side, across four lanes of asphalt shimmering with afternoon heat, was an old-fashioned fruit stand.**

**The stuff on sale looked really good: heaping boxes of blood red cherries and apples, walnuts and apricots, jugs of cider in a claw-foot tub full of ice_._**

**There were no customers, just three old ladies sitting in rocking chairs in the shade of a maple tree, knitting the biggest pair of socks I'd ever seen.**

"Socks?" Annabeth asked.

"Yeah pretty much." answered Percy.

**I mean these socks were the size of sweaters, but they were clearly socks. The lady on the right knitted one of them. The lady on the left knitted the other. The lady in the middle held an enormous basket of electric-blue yarn. **

"Electric blue? I think we can all, other than the gods, tell whose life string that is." murmured Thalia.

**All three women looked ancient, with pale faces wrinkled like fruit leather, silver hair tied back in white bandannas, bony arms sticking out of bleached cotton dresses.**

"The Fates." Poseidon gasped, clutching his thrones arm rest's in fear and anticipation.

**The weirdest thing was, they seemed to be looking right at me.**

"No Percy, they _were _looking at you." Jake said.

**I looked over at Grover to say something about this and saw that the blood had drained from his face. His nose was twitching.**

**"Grover?" I said. "Hey, man—"**

**"Tell me they're not looking at you. They are, aren't they?"**

"Yup, which means another brat is going to die. Hussar!" Dionysus grinned happily.

Thalia gave him an evil eye so evil that it would make even the fates want to jump into Tartarus. Dionysus began to shiver and quickly looked away after shutting up.

**"Yeah. Weird, huh? You think those socks would fit me?"**

"Hilarious Perce." Annabeth muttered.

"Why thank you." Percy replied.

**"Not funny, Percy. Not funny at all."**

**The old lady in the middle took out a huge pair of scissors—gold and silver, long-bladed, like shears. I heard Grover catch his breath.**

The gods eyes widened in fear.

"Please no." whispered Poseidon.

**"We're getting on the bus," he told me. "Come on."**

**"What?" I said. "It's a thousand degrees in there."**

"Get on the Percy." Poseidon murmured.

**"Come on!" He pried open the door and climbed inside, but I stayed but I stayed back.**

"Just great!" yelled Apollo.

**Across the road, the old ladies were still watching me. The middle one cut the yarn, and I swear I could hear that _snip _across four lanes of traffic.**

Everyone heard a loud scream and turned to see Nico awake and clutching his head. He shook his head and muttered something about Dionysus and alcohol being stupid.

**Her two friends balled up the electric-blue socks, leaving me wondering who they could possibly be for—Sasquatch or Godzilla.**

**At the rear of the bus, the driver wrenched a big chunk of smoking metal out of the engine compartment. The bus shuddered, and the engine roared back to life.**

The gods sighed in relief.

**The passengers cheered.**

**"Darn right!" yelled the driver. He slapped the bus with his hat. "Everybody back on board!"**

**Once we got going, I started feeling feverish, as if I'd caught the flu.**

"Oh gods!" shouted Annabeth.

**Grover didn't look much better. He was shivering and his teeth were chattering.**

**"Grover?"**

**"Yeah?"**

**"What are you not telling me?"**

**He dabbed his forehead with his shirt sleeve. "Percy, what did you see back at the fruit stand?"**

**"You mean the old ladies? What is it about them, man? They're not like ... Mrs. Dodds, are they?"**

"Nope. The Fates are older and less easy to piss off!" muttered Jake.

**His expression was hard to read, but I got the feeling that the fruit-stand ladies were something much, much worse than Mrs. Dodds. He said, "Just tell me what you saw."**

**"The middle one took out her scissors, and she cut the yarn."**

**He closed his eyes and made a gesture with his fingers that might've been crossing himself, but it wasn't. It was something else, something almost—older.**

**He said, "You saw her snip the cord."**

**"Yeah. So?" But even as I said it, I knew it was a big deal.**

**"This is not happening," Grover mumbled. He started chewing at his thumb. "I don't want this to be like the last time."**

Thalia and Annabeth sighed in sadness.

**"What last time?"**

**"Always sixth grade. They never get past sixth."**

"It wasn't your fault Grover." whispered Thalia.

**"Grover," I said, because he was really starting to scare me. "What are you talking about?"**

**"Let me walk you home from the bus station. Promise me."**

**This seemed like a strange request to me, but I promised he could.**

**"Is this like a superstition or something?" I asked.**

**No answer.**

**"Grover—that snipping of the yarn. Does that mean somebody is going to die?"**

"Yep!" Dionysus said cheerfully. A dagger thudded an inch from his face. Nico gave Percy a high five.

**He looked at me mournfully, like he was already picking the kind of flowers I'd like best on my coffin.**

"Creepy!" yelled Hermes.

"Weird." murmured Athena.

"Scary." whispered Artemis.

"Annoying." blurted Dionysus.

"Not very shocking." muttered Mike.

"So who want's to read next?" asked Annabeth, holding up the book.

"I will." replied Thalia, taking the book "Okay, next chapter!"


	3. Fates decide to phone! LOL!

**Pertemis: Reading the Lightning Thief**

**Chapter three:**

**We get a call from the future as we read chapter three!**

I do not own Pjo or anything else apart from the demititans.

"Okay," said Mike "Please begin to read."

**Grover unexpectedly loses his pants!**

"That really sounds interesting!" laughed Apollo.

"How did he lose them unexpectedly?" asked Hermes. No one answered him.

**Confession time: I ditched Grover as soon as we got to the bus terminal.**

"Brilliant idea." Annabeth muttered.

**I know, I know. It was rude. **

"It was bloody stupid!" yelled Thalia.

**But Grover was freaking me out, looking at me like I was a dead man, muttering "Why does this always happen?" and "Why does it always have to be sixth grade?"**

"Grover sounds like he really cares for you." whispered Artemis. Percy nodded in agreement and smiled at her. For some reason Artemis blushed.

**Whenever he got upset, Grover's bladder acted up, **

"Everything has to revolve around bladders." Hephaestus murmured.

**so I wasn't surprised when, as soon as we got off the bus, he made me promise to wait for him, then made a beeline for the restroom. Instead of waiting, I got my suitcase, slipped outside, and caught the first taxi uptown.**

"I would just like to say this so the gods are angry at him: Percy did this and the after effects almost got him killed while his mother was kidnapped." Nico stated. The gods turned to glare at the son of the sea which made him cower in fear.

Thalia began to read before Percy was accidentally vaporized.

**"East One-hundred-and-fourth and First," I told the driver.**

**A word about my mother, before you meet her.**

**Her name is Sally Jackson and she's the best person in the world, **

"Agreed!" yelled Thalia.

"Definitely!" shouted Nico.

"100% correct!" agreed Annabeth.

**which just proves my theory that the best people have the rottenest luck.**

"Cue sad music." Dionysus moaned. Percy, Thalia, Nico, Annabeth, Jake, Daimon, Mike, Artemis, Poseidon, and Aphrodite all glared at him.

**Her own parents died in a plane crash when she was five, and she was raised by an uncle who didn't care much about her. She wanted to be a novelist, so she spent high school working to save enough money for a college with a good creative-writing program. Then her uncle got cancer, and she had to quit school her senior year to take care of him. After he died, she was left with no money, no family, and no diploma.**

Most of the room, excluding a glaring Dionysus and Ares, saddened at that.

**The only good break she ever got was meeting my dad.**

"Poseidon and Sally sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes-" Nico began but was cut off by Hermes.

"Wow Poseidon, two ladies: Sally and Athena, nice one!" he laughed. Athena hid her blush but threw a spear at the god. It moved so fast Hermes couldn't register it had been thrown until it was a second from her hand.

Jake quickly threw a bolt of energy. It snapped the spear and sent the twin pieces flying. "No maiming. No matter how much they deserve it." he said.

**I don't have memories of him, just this sort of warm glow, maybe the barest trace of his smile.**

Poseidon smiled.

**My mum doesn't like to talk about him because it makes her sad. She has no pictures.**

"Clinging to a lost love, how sweet." cooed Aphrodite.

**See, they weren't married. She told me he was rich and important, and their relationship was a secret.**

"I wonder why, wait, wasn't there a pact on a powerful river." Thalia feigned shock.

**Then one day, he set sail across the Atlantic on some important journey, and he never came back.**

"Very dramatic Poseidon." muttered Athena.

**Lost at sea, my mum told me. Not dead. Lost at sea.**

"He ain't dying anytime soon." Hades said.

"Wish he would." replied Zeus, earning a glare from Poseidon.

"I can arrange that." Jake cried happily.

**She worked odd jobs, took night classes to get her high school diploma, and raised me on her own. She never complained or got mad. Not even once. But I knew I wasn't an easy kid.**

The whole room was laughing at the statement.

**Finally, she married Gabe Ugliano,**

"He sounds like a jerk." Thalia mused.

**who was nice for the first thirty seconds we knew him, then showed his true colors as a world-class jerk. **

"I need to figure out how this telepathy works." Athena thought aloud.

**When I was young, I nicknamed him Smelly Gabe. I'm sorry, but it's the truth. The guy reeked like moldy garlic pizza wrapped in gym shorts.**

"Sounds nice." Annabeth gagged. The majority of the room followed her example.

**Between the two of us, we made my mum's life pretty hard. The way Smelly Gabe treated her, the way he and I got along . . . well, when I came home is a good example.**

"This is gonna be good." Nico grinned in anticipation.

**I walked into our little apartment, hoping my mum would be home from work. Instead, Smelly Gabe was in the living room, playing poker with his buddies. The television blared ESPN. Chips and beer cans were strewn all over the carpet.**

"Lovely place Perseus." Athena muttered, trying to annoy him by using his full name.

"Why thank you Lady Pallas Athena." Percy replied evenly. Athena glared.

**Hardly looking up, he said around his cigar, "So, you're home."**

**"Where's my mum?"**

**"Working," he said. "You got any cash?"**

"That was it? What about, 'Welcome back', or 'good to see you', or 'How has your life been the last six months'?" Thalia asked shocked.

**That was it. No _Welcome back. Good to see you. How has your life been the last six months?_**

The whole room gaped at her. She smiled and looked at Percy "We should practice our telepathy sometime." Percy nodded in agreement.

**Gabe had put on weight. He looked like a tuskless walrus in a thrift-store clothes. He had about three hairs on his head, all combed over his bald scalp, as if that made him handsome or something.**

The whole room shuddered at the description. "Nice hair. Think it'll catch on?" Jake muttered.

**He managed the Electronics Mega-Mart in Queens, but he stayed home most of the time. I don't know why he hadn't been fired long before. He just kept on collecting paychecks, spending the money on cigars that made me nauseous, and on beer, of course. Always beer. Whenever I was home, he expected me to provide his gambling funds. He called that our "guy secret." Meaning, if I told my mum, he would punch my lights out.**

"Let's kill him." mused Mike, Artemis and Poseidon nodded in agreement "But let's wait till the end of the book."

**"I don't have any cash," I told him.**

**He raised a greasy eyebrow.**

**Gabe could sniff out money like a bloodhound, which was surprising, since his own smell should've covered up everything else.**

This got a few laugh's out of the group.

**"You took a taxi from the bus station," he said. "Probably paid with a twenty. Got six, seven bucks in change. Somebody expects to live under this roof, he ought to carry his own weight. Am I right, Eddie?"**

"Yeah, am I right Eddie old buddy old pal." Daimon said, copying a weird accent that made him sound stupid.

"I met him once. He's fat isn't he." Thalia muttered.

**Eddie, the super of the apartment building, looked at me with a twinge of sympathy. "Come on, Gabe," he said. "The kid just got here."**

**"Am I _right?_" Gabe repeated.**

"Nope." grinned Annabeth, popping the 'P'.

**Eddie scowled into his bowl of pretzels. The other two guys passed gas in harmony.**

Nico, Hermes, and Apollo burst out laughing while the women in the room shuddered and the rest seemed indifferent.

**"Fine," I said. I dug a wad of dollars out of my pocket and threw the money on the table. "I hope you lose."**

"Me too." growled Artemis.

**"Your report card came, brain boy!" he shouted after me. "I wouldn't act so snooty!"**

"Brain boy, yeah right." Athena snorted.

**I slammed the door to my room, which really wasn't my room. During school months, it was Gabe's "study." **

**He didn't study anything in there except old car magazines, but he loved shoving my stuff in the closet, leaving his muddy boots on my windowsill, and doing his best to make the place smell like his nasty cologne and cigars and stale beer.**

"Home sweet home." Thalia muttered sarcastically.

**I dropped my suitcase on the bed. Home sweet home.**

"Good telepathy Pinecone Face." Percy said.

"You too Kelp' for' Brains." she replied.

**Gabe's smell was almost worse than the nightmares about Mrs. Dodds, or the sound of that old fruit lady's shears snipping the yarn.**

**But as soon as I thought that, my legs felt weak. I remembered Grover's look of panic-how he'd made me promise I wouldn't go home without him. A sudden chill rolled through me. I felt like someone-something-was looking for me right now, maybe pounding its way up the stairs, growing long, horrible talons.**

"You're very dramatic aren't you." muttered Hera.

**Then I heard my mum's voice. "Percy?"**

**She opened the bedroom door, and my fears melted away.**

"That's very nice, now can we get on to the blood and gore?" Ares asked.

**My mother can make me feel good just by walking into the room. Her eyes sparkle and change color in the light. Her smile is as warm as a quilt. She's got a few gray streaks mixed in with her long brown hair, but I never think of her as old. When she looks at me, it's like she's been seeing all the good things about me, none of the bad. I've never heard her voice or say an unkind word to anyone, not even me or Gabe.**

"Wow! I've cursed at him with words that should never be spoken and I've only known him for about two minutes." Mike said.

"You're a momma's boy!" laughed Ares.

Percy had Riptide at Ares's neck before he had finished the sentence. Ares gulped and put his hands up in surrender. Percy lowered the blade.

**"Oh, Percy." She hugged me tight. "I can't believe it. You've grown since Christmas!"**

**Her red-white-and-blue Sweet on America uniform smelled like the best things in the world: chocolate, licorice, and all the other stuff she sold at the candy shop in Grand Central. She'd brought me a huge bag of "free samples," the way she always did when I came home.**

"Say anything Ares and I'll kill you." Jake said. Nobody knew whether he could follow through with the threat but no one wanted to test it.

**We sat together on the edge of the bed. While I attacked the blueberry sour strings, she ran her hand through my hair and demanded to know everything I hadn't put in my letters. She didn't mention anything about my getting expelled. She didn't seem to care about that. But was I okay? Was her little boy doing all right?**

"Saaaaappppyyyyy!" yelled Dionysus. Thalia slammed a metal bat into the side of his head and he fell unconscious.

**I told her she was smothering me, and to lay off all that, but secretly, I was really, really glad to see her.**

"Don't say anything Ares." growled Poseidon.

**From the other room, Gabe yelled, "Hey, Sally-how about some bean dip, huh?"**

"Let's punch his light's out." hissed Hera. Agreements came from all side's.

**I gritted my teeth.**

**My mum is the nicest lady in the world. She should've been married to a millionaire, not to some jerk like Gabe.**

"Or a god for that matter." said Hermes.

**For her sake, I tried to sound upbeat about my last days at Yancy Academy. I told her I wasn't too down about the expulsion. I'd lasted almost the whole year this time. I'd made some new friends. I'd done pretty well in Latin. And honestly, the fights hadn't been as bad as the headmaster said. I liked Yancy Academy. I really did. I put such a good spin on the year, I almost convinced myself. I started choking up, thinking about Grover and Mr. Brunner. Even Nancy Bobofit suddenly didn't seem so bad.**

"Well then you must really want to keep your mum happy." Artemis whispered and Percy nodded. Artemis was surprised when she felt herself blush at the smile he then gave her.

**Until the trip to the museum . . .**

**"What?" my mum asked. Her eyes tugged at my conscience, trying to pull out the secrets. "Did something scare you?"**

**"No, Mum."**

"She won't be fooled." Athena said.

**I felt bad lying. I wanted to tell her about Mrs. Dodds and the three old ladies with the yarn, but I thought it would sound stupid.**

"You should have told her." said Annabeth.

"I agree with Perce, it would have sounded stupid." Nico countered.

**She pursed her lips. She knew I was holding back, but didn't push me.**

**"I have a surprise for you," she said. "We're going to the beach."**

**My eyes widened. "Montauk?"**

**"Three nights-same cabin."**

**"When?"**

**She smiled. "As soon as I get changed,"**

**I couldn't believe it. My mom and I hadn't been to Montauk the last two summers, because Gabe said there wasn't enough money..**

**Gabe appeared in the doorway and growled, "Bean dip, Sally? Didn't you hear me?"**

"Shut your trap dip-stick!" yelled Jake. Dionysus then began to regain consciousness.

**I wanted to punch him, but I met my mom's eyes and I understood she was offering me a deal: be nice to Gabe for a little while. Just until she was ready to leave for Montauk. Then we would get out of here.**

**"I was on my way, honey," she told Gabe. "We were just talking about the trip."**

**Gabe's eyes got small. "The trip? You mean you were serious about that?"**

**"I knew it," I muttered. "He won't let us go."**

"I really want to burn him and kick on his _bloody_ ashes." Mike growled. Multiple gods were nodding in agreement.

**"Of course he will," my mom said evenly. "Your stepfather is just worried about money. That's all. Besides," she added, "Gabriel won't have to settle for bean dip. I'll make him enough seven-layer dip for the whole weekend. Guacamole. Sour cream. The works."**

**Gabe softened a bit. "So this money for your trip . . . it comes out of your clothes budget, right?"**

"I'm so sorry Ugly-what-ever-your-face-is, but I am probably gonna kill you for using _clothes budgets!" _Aphrodite screeched.

**"****Yes, honey," my mother said.**

**"And you won't take my car anywhere but there and back."**

**"We'll be very careful."**

**Gabe scratched his double chin. "Maybe if you hurry with the seven-layer dip . . . And maybe if the kid apologized for interrupting my poker game."**

"Maybe if you kicked him where it hurts." growled Thalia.

**Maybe if I kick you in your soft spot, I thought. And make you sing soprano for a week.**

Thalia and Percy exchanged a grin while the whole room burst out laughing.

**But my mom's eyes warned me not to make him mad.**

**Why did she put up with this guy? I wanted to scream. Why did she care what he thought?**

**"I'm sorry," I muttered. "I'm really sorry I interrupted your incredibly important poker game. Please go back to it right now."**

Nico and Thalia looked at their cousin and said "You are really fun to exchange arguments with."

**Gabe's eyes narrowed. His tiny brain was probably trying to detect sarcasm in my statement.**

"Gabe Ugliano you are the handsomest, smartest, kindest, hottest, sexiest, greatest, and loveliest person on the planet." Aphrodite said, sarcasm was practically flooding the statement. "Think he would have guessed I was lying?"

"Probably not." Percy grinned.

**"Yeah, whatever," he decided.**

**He went back to his game.**

"A-s hole!" Artemis growled.

"Language Artemis." Hera gasped.

**"Thank you, Percy," my mom said. "Once we get to Montauk, we'll talk more about . . . whatever you've forgotten to tell me, okay?"**

**For a moment, I thought I saw anxiety in her eyes-the same fear I'd seen in Grover during the bus ride-as if my mom too felt an odd chill in the air.**

**But then her smile returned, and I figured I must have been mistaken. She ruffled my hair and went to make Gabe his seven-layer dip.**

**An hour later we were ready to leave.**

**Gabe took a break from his poker game long enough to watch me lug my mom's bags to the car, he kept griping and groaning about losing her cooking-and more important, his '78 Camaro- for the whole weekend.**

**"Not a scratch on this car, brain boy," he warned me as I loaded the last bag. "Not one little scratch."**

"But he's not driving." Hestia said confused.

**Like I'd be the one driving. I was twelve. But that didn't matter to Gabe. If a seagull so much as pooped on his paint job, he'd find a way to blame me.**

"Jacka-s!" cursed Apollo.

"Language _Apollo_." Hera scolded.

**Watching him lumber back toward the apartment building, I got so mad I did something I can't explain. As Gabe reached the doorway, I made the hand gesture I'd seen Grover make on the bus, a sort of warding-of-evil gesture, a clawed hand over my heart, then a shoving movement toward Gabe. The screen door slammed shut so hard it whacked him in the butt and sent him flying up the staircase as if he'd been shot from a cannon.**

"Yeah!" the whole room cheered.

**Maybe it was just the wind, or some freak accident with the hinges, but I didn't stay long enough to find out.**

**I got in the Camaro and told my mom to step on it.**

**Our rental cabin was on the south shore, way out at the tip of Long Island. It was a little pastel box with faded curtains, half sunken into the dunes. There was always sand in the sheets and spiders in the cabinets,**

Athena and Annabeth shivered.

**and most of the time the sea was too cold to swim in.**

**I loved the place.**

"Well you would wouldn't you." muttered Nico.

**We'd been going there since I was a baby. My mom had been going even longer. She never exactly said, but I knew why the beach was special to her. It was the place where she'd met my dad.**

Poseidon smiled.

**As we got closer to Montauk, she seemed to grow younger, years of worry and work disappearing from her face. Her eyes turned the color of the sea.**

**We got there at sunset, opened all the cabin's windows, and went through our usual cleaning routine. We walked on the beach, fed blue corn chips to the seagulls, and munched on blue jelly beans, blue saltwater taffy, and all the other free samples my mom had brought from work.**

**I guess I should explain the blue food.**

"Yes you should sea-splat." muttered Jake.

**See, Gabe had once told my mom there was no such thing. They had this fight, which seemed like a really small thing at the time. But ever since, my mom went out of her way to eat blue. She baked blue birthday cakes. She mixed blueberry smoothies. She brought blue-corn tortilla chips and brought home blue candy from the shop. This-along with keeping her maiden name, Jackson, rather than calling herself Mrs. Ugliano**

"Weird name." Demeter said.

**-was proof she wasn't totally suckered by Gabe. She did have a rebellious streak like me.**

Thalia, Nico, and Annabeth burst out laughing at the statement.

"A streak? Yeah right. More like your whole personality." Thalia giggled.

**When it got dark, we made a fire. We roasted hot dogs and marshmallows. Mum told me stories about when she was a kid, back before her parents died in the plane crash. She told me about the books she wanted to write someday, when she had enough money to quit the candy shop.**

"Your mother sounds like a lovely person." murmured Artemis. Percy grinned in thanks. Artemis turned away to hide her blush once more. Why on earth was she feeling like this?

**Eventually, I got up the nerve to ask about what was always on my mind whenever we came to Montauk-my father.**

**Mum's eyes went all misty. I figured she would tell me the same things she always did, but I never got tired of hearing them.**

**"He was kind, Percy," she said. "Tall, handsome, and powerful. But gentle, too. You have his black hair, you know, and his green eyes."**

**Mom fished a blue jelly bean out of her candy bag. **

**"I wish he could see you, Percy. He would be so proud."**

"I am." Poseidon murmured.

**I wondered how she could say that. What was so great about me?**

"You're a son of the sea, favored by the gods, completer of quest's unimaginable, lover of the I'm not telling, leader of the demigods, co-leader of the battle against the Primordial army, slayer of giants, bane of Typhon, the giants, the titans, and Gaea, ally of the demititans, and probably the only person who can match me in battle. You're incredible. Unmatched. You _are _great." Jake said.

**A dyslexic, hyperactive boy with D+ report card, kicked out of school for the sixth time in six years.**

Percy raised his eyebrow at Jake and he shrugged "This was before you met me." he replied. Their companions smiled.

**"How old was I?" I asked. "I mean . . . when he left?"**

**She watched the flames. "He was only with me for one summer, Percy. Right here at this beach. This cabin."**

**"But . . . he knew me as a baby."**

**"No, honey. He knew I was expecting a baby, but he never saw you. He had to leave before you were born."**

**I tried to square that with the fact that I seemed to remember . . . something about my father. A warm glow. A smile.**

Poseidon sighed.

**I have always assumed he knew me as a baby. My mum had never said it outright, but still. I'd felt it must be true. Now, to be told that he'd never seen me . . .**

"The gods just ain't cut out to be parents." Nico muttered. The Olympians with kids saddened visibly.

**I felt angry at my father. Maybe it was stupid, but I resented him for going on that ocean voyage, for not having the guts to marry my mum. He'd left us, and now we were stuck with Smelly Gabe.**

Poseidon's eyes closed and a single tear fell from his eye.

**"Are you going to send me away again?" I asked her. "To another boarding school?"**

**She pulled a marshmallow from the fire.**

**"I don't know, honey." Her voice was heavy. "I think . . . I think we'll have to do something."**

**"Because you don't want me around?" **

Percy winced.

**I regretted the words as soon as they were out.**

"You should." Artemis growled.

"Sorry."

**My mum's eyes welled with tears. She took my hand, squeezed it tight. "Oh, Percy, no. I-I _have_ to, honey. For your own good. I have to send you away."**

**Her words reminded me of what Mr. Brunner had said-that it was the best for me to leave Yancy.**

**"Because I'm not normal," I said.**

**"You say that as if it's a bad thing, Percy. But you don't realize how important you are. I thought Yancy Academy would be far enough away. I thought you'd finally be safe."**

**"Safe from what?"**

**She met my eyes, and a flood of memories came back to me-all the weird, scary things that had ever happened to me, some of which I'd tried to forget.**

**During third grade, a man in a black trench coat had stalked me on the playground. When the teachers threatened to call the police, he went away growling, but no one believed me when I told them that under is broad-brimmed hat, the man only had one eye, right in the middle of his head.**

"Bet it was Tyson." said Nico.

"Who's Tyson?" Athena asked.

"You'll find out in the next book. And you're on Nico." Daimon replied "Twenty bronze drachma's.

They shook on it and Daimon disappeared, only to reappear with a picture. Nico cursed as he handed over the money.

**Before that-a really early memory. I was in preschool, and a teacher accidentally put me down for a nap in a cot that a snake had slithered into. My mum screamed when she came to pick me up and found me playing with a limp, scaly rope I'd somehow managed to strangle to death with my meaty toddler hands.**

"Sweet, a boy that's not scared of a little snake." Artemis grinned, looking at Hermes, Apollo, Ares, Hephaestus, and Dionysus individually.

**In every single school, something creepy had happened, something unsafe, and I was forced to move.**

**I knew I should tell my mum about the old ladies at the fruit stand, and Mrs. Dodds at the art museum, about my weird hallucination that I had sliced my math teacher into dust with a sword. **

**But I couldn't make myself to tell her. I had a strange feeling the news would end our trip to Montauk, and I didn't want that.**

**"I've tried to keep you as close to me as I could," my mum said. "They told me that was a mistake. But there's only one other option, Percy-the place your father wanted to send you. And I just . . . I just can't stand to do it."**

**"My father wanted me to go to a special school?"**

**"Not a school," she said softly. "A summer camp."**

**My head was spinning. Why would my dad-who hadn't even stayed around long enough to see me born-talk to my mum about a summer camp? And if it was so important, why hadn't she ever mentioned it before?**

**I'm sorry, Percy," she said, seeing the look in my eyes. "But I can't talk about it. I-I couldn't send you to that place. It might mean saying good-bye to you for good."**

"I feel bad for her. And trust me, I'm short on sad emotions." muttered Ares.

**"For good? But if it's only a summer camp . . ."**

**She turned toward the fire, and I knew from her expression that if I asked any more questions she would start to cry.**

**That night I had a vivid dream.**

"Don't we all!" cried Annabeth.

**It was storming on the beach, and two beautiful animals, a white horse and a golden eagle, were trying to kill each other at the edge of the surf.**

You two have issues." Demeter said, pointing at her two brothers.

**The eagle swooped down and slashed the horse's muzzle with its huge talons. The horse reared up and kicked at the eagle's wings. As they fought, the ground rumbled, and a monstrous voice chuckled somewhere beneath the earth, goading the animals to fight harder.**

Everyone, excluding Percy, turned to look at Hades. He shrugged and said "I have no idea what I'm doing."

**I ran toward them, knowing I had to stop them from killing each other, but I was running in slow motion. I knew I would be too late. I saw the eagle dive down, its beak aimed at the horse's wide eyes, and I screamed, _No!_**

"Ha! I win! Suck it!" Zeus yelled. Jake, Poseidon, and Hades rolled their eyes.

**I woke with a start.**

**Outside, it really was storming, the kind of storm that cracks trees and blows down houses. There was no horse or eagle on the beach, just lightning making false daylight, and twenty-foot waves pounding the dunes like artillery.**

**With the next thunderclap, my mom woke. She sat up, eyes wide, and said, "Hurricane."**

**I knew that was crazy. Long Island never sees hurricanes this early in the summer. But the ocean seemed to have forgotten.**

"It's Poseidon and his issues." said Athena.

**Over the roar of the wind, I heard a distant bellow, an angry, tortured sound that made my hair stand on end.**

**Then a much closer noise, like mallets in the sand. A desperate voice-someone yelling, pounding on our cabin door.**

**My mother sprang out of bed in her nightgown and threw open the lock.**

**Grover stood framed in the doorway against a backdrop of pouring rain. But he wasn't . . . he wasn't exactly Grover.**

"Really was it Adolf Hitler!" Daimon yelled.

"Don't offend my son!" screamed Hades.

"Yeah well your son's psycho!" Daimon shouted.

"STOP YELLING!" Zeus screeched.

**"Searching all night," he gasped. "What were you thinking?"**

**My mother looked at me in terror-not scared of Grover, but of why he'd come.**

**"Percy," she said, shouting to be heard over the rain. "What happened at school? What didn't you tell me?"**

**I was frozen, looking at Grover. I couldn't understand what I was seeing.**

**_"O Zeu kai alloi theoi!"_he yelled. "It's right behind me! Didn't you tell her?"**

**I was too shocked to register that he'd just cursed in Ancient Greek, and I'd understood him perfectly. I was too shocked to wonder how Grover had gotten here by himself in the middle of the night. Because Grover didn't have his pants on-and where his legs should be . . . where his legs should be . . .**

"Were donkey legs!" Nico yelled.

**My mom looked at me sternly and talked in a tone she'd never used before: _"Percy._ Tell me _now!"_**

**I stammered something about the old ladies at the fruit stand, and Mrs. Dodds, and my mom stared at me, her face deathly pale in the flashes of lightning.**

Suddenly a weird ring tone cut the air. Jake pulled out an I-phone and held it to his ear. "Yes this is Jake...you sound like you're constipated, talk normally...I don't care if your sisters are angry with me, you're all old sots...you want me to skip the bull-fighting to pick up some more people from the future?...okay then I'll take Daimon...yeah go to your pit and rot...bye!"

He turned to the rest of the room and said "I got a call from the fates. They want us to pick up some guys from the future. Daimon lets go." With that the two disappeared, Jake in a minor nuclear explosion and Daimon in a blast that seemed to rip him apart. Thalia just shrugged it off and continued.

**She grabbed her purse, tossed me my rain jacket, and said, "Get to the car. Both of you. _Go!"_**

**Grover ran for the Camaro- but he wasn't running, exactly. He was trotting, shaking his shaggy hindquarters, and suddenly his story about a muscular disorder in his legs made sense to me. I understood how he could run so fast and still limp when he walked.**

**Because where his feet should be, there were no feet.**

**There were cloven hooves.**

"That's the end of chapter three, who wants to read chapter four?" Thalia asked.

Nico pried the book from her grasp and began to read "Let's learn some bull fighting!"


	4. LOL: WE get bullied while reading

**Pertemis: Reading the Lightning Thief!**

**Chapter 4**

**We learn more about the future as we read chapter four!**

I do not own Pjo or anything else apart from the demititans.

**My Mother teaches me Bullfighting!**

"I'm willing to bet this is anything but good." Poseidon muttered.

**We tore through the night along dark country roads. Wind slammed against the Camaro. Rain lashed the wind shield. I didn't know how my mum could see anything, but she kept her foot on the gas.**

"Sweet, your mum can drive." cried Ares.

**Every time there was a flash of lightning, I looked at Grover sitting next to me in the backseat and I wondered if I'd gone insane, or if he was wearing some kind of shag-carpet pants.**

"Seriously?" Annabeth asked.

"Seriously." Percy answered.

**But, no, the smell was one I remembered from kindergarten field trips to the petting zoo— lanolin, like from wool. The smell of a wet barnyard animal.**

"Sounds pleasant." Aphrodite muttered, a look of disgust on her face.

**All I could think to say was, "So, you and my mum... know each other?"**

"Yes, I met her in Manhattan during a war" Mike said.

"He's talking to Grover idiot." Hera shouted.

"Hera. You got issues!"

**Grover's eyes flitted to the rear view mirror, though there were no cars behind us. "Not exactly," he said. "I mean, we've never met in person. But she knew I was watching you."**

"Stalker!" yelled Hermes.

**"Watching me?"**

"No stalking you." corrected Apollo.

**"Keeping tabs on you. Making sure you were okay. But I wasn't faking being your friend," he added hastily. "I **_**am **_**your friend."**

"Yes you _are _my friend." whispered Percy.

**"Um..what **_**are **_**you, exactly?"**

**"That doesn't matter right now."**

"It sort of does." said Hephaestus.

**"It doesn't matter? From the waist down, my best friend is a donkey—"**

"Now I see why Jake and Daimon call him donkey boy, you started it." cried Athena.

"You shouldn't have called him a donkey Percy." Annabeth told him.

**Grover let out a sharp, throaty _"Blaa-ha-ha!"_**

**I'd heard him make that sound before, but I'd always assumed it was a nervous laugh. Now I realized it was more of an irritated bleat.**

"You're a bit slow aren't you Percy." said Apollo.

Thalia turned to him and laughed "Look who's talking. You can't even write good haiku's." Apollo looked a little depressed at the insult. Artemis grinned at her lieutenant.

**"Goat!" he cried.**

**"What?"**

**"I'm a _goat _from the waist down."**

"Really? I thought Percy, Jake, and Daimon called you a donkey." muttered Hermes.

**"You just said it didn't matter."**

**_"Blaa-ha-ha!_ There are satyrs who would trample you under-hoof for such an insult!"**

"Told you." stated Annabeth.

**"Whoa. Wait. Satyrs. You mean like ... Mr. Brunner's myths?"**

"Myths?! You dare call any Greek Mythology a _MYTH?!_" screeched Zeus, raising his bolt. Before anyone could react he fired a blast off lightning.

As if happening in slow motion Percy lept from the sofa, and kicked it across the room, his companions still on it. He raced to Zeus' throne. He scaled the gigantic throne in less than a second and was then holding Zeus at sword point.

"Do _not_ attack me again." Percy growled before leaping down and walking back to the couch, which had been fixed by Mike. The gods gaped but the companions merely turned back to the book.

**"Were those old ladies at the fruit stand a _myth, _Percy? Was Mrs. Dodds a myth?"**

**"So you _admit _there was a Mrs. Dodds!"**

"That is really not what he should be worried about." blurted Annabeth.

**"Of course."**

**"Then why—"**

**"The less you knew, the fewer monsters you'd attract," Grover said, like that should be perfectly obvious. "We put Mist over the humans' eyes. We hoped you'd think the Kindly One was a hallucination. But it was no good. You started to realize who you are."**

**"Who I—wait a minute, what do you mean?"**

**The weird bellowing noise rose up again somewhere behind us, closer than before. Whatever was chasing us was still on our trail.**

"Great! I hope whatever it is gnaws on your face!" Dionysus cried gleefully.

**"Percy," my mum said, "There's too much to explain and not enough time. We have to get you to safety."**

**"Safety from what? Who's after me?"**

"Zeus, Hades, Athena, the Minotaur, the Furies, Kronos, Ares, Gaea, Medusa, Hellhounds, boars, death, the Fates, and a guy that chops peoples legs off!" finished Annabeth. Poseidon paled.

**"Oh, nobody much," Grover said, obviously still miffed about the donkey comment. "Just the Lord of the Dead and a few of his blood-thirstiest minions."**

"Why must it always be me?" muttered Hades.

"Maybe because it is you." replied Demeter.

**"Grover!"**

**"Sorry, Mrs. Jackson. Could you drive faster, please?"**

"Nope, but I can!" Nico yelled happily.

"Since when can you drive?" asked Thalia.

"Since I began taking lessons from Grover and Jake." he replied.

"You took _driving lessons_ from _Jake_?" asked Mike.

"Yeah. Why?" asked Nico.

Mike just began muttering "Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no."

**I tried to wrap my mind around what was happening, but I couldn't do it. I knew this wasn't a dream. I had no imagination. I could never dream up something this weird.**

"I don't know. You dreamt that Poseidon and Zeus were at war before you met them." Hermes said.

**My mom made a hard left. We swerved onto a narrower road, racing past darkened farmhouses and wooded hills and PICK YOUR OWN STRAWBERRIES signs on white picket fences.**

"Pick your own strawberries?" Thalia asked.

"Yeah. Your point?" questioned Dionysus. Thalia just shook her head in shock.

**"Where are we going?" I asked.**

**"The summer camp I told you about." My mother's voice was tight; she was trying for my sake not to be scared. "The place your father wanted to send you."**

**"The place you didn't want me to go."**

**"Please, dear," my mother begged. "This is hard enough. Try to understand. You're in danger."**

**"Because some old ladies cut yarn."**

"You make it sound stupid." Zeus told him.

"Do I look like I care?" Percy shot back.

**"Those weren't old ladies," Grover said. "Those were the Fates. Do you know what it means—the fact they appeared in front of you? They only do that when you're about to ... when someone's about to die."**

"Dun Dun Duh!" Nico spoke in a haunted house voice.

**"Whoa. You said 'you.'"**

**"No I didn't. I said 'someone.'"**

**"You meant 'you.' As in _me._"**

**"I meant _you, _like 'someone.' Not you, _you._"**

"This is all very confusing." muttered Ares.

**"Boys!" my mum said.**

**She pulled the wheel hard to the right, and I got a glimpse of a figure she'd swerved to avoid—a dark fluttering shape now lost behind us in the storm.**

**"What was that?" I asked.**

**"We're almost there," my mother said, ignoring my question.**

**"Another mile. Please. Please. Please."**

"Okay I will give you half my pie." stated Nico, Thalia hit him over the head.

**I didn't know where _there _was, but I found myself leaning forward in the car, anticipating, wanting us to arrive.**

**Outside, nothing but rain and darkness—the kind of empty countryside you get way out on the tip of Long Island. I thought about Mrs. Dodds and the moment when she'd changed into the thing with pointed teeth and leathery wings. My limbs went numb from delayed shock. She really _hadn't _been human. She'd meant to kill me.**

"No duh Einstein!" yelled Athena.

**Then I thought about Mr. Brunner ... and the sword he had thrown me. Before I could ask Grover about that, the hair rose on the back of my neck. There was a blinding flash, a jaw-rattling _boom!, _and our car exploded.**

"COOL!" yelled Apollo and Hermes.

**I remember feeling weightless, like I was being crushed, fried, and hosed down all at the same time.**

**I peeled my forehead off the back of the driver's seat and said, "Ow."**

"Ow? Seriously, ow?" Annabeth questioned.

**"Percy!" my mum shouted.**

**"I'm okay..."**

**I tried to shake off the daze. I wasn't dead. The car hadn't really exploded. We'd swerved into a ditch. Our driver's-side doors were wedged in the mud. The roof had cracked open like an eggshell and rain was pouring in.**

**Lightning. **

Poseidon lunged at Zeus. He then proceeded to strangle him. Mike pulled out a camera and began to record it. "Why are you recording this?" asked Thalia.

"Daimon will be pissed at me if he misses this." Mike replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

**That was the only explanation. We'd been blasted right off the road. Next to me in the backseat was a big motionless lump. "Grover!"**

**He was slumped over, blood trickling from the side of his mouth. I shook his furry hip, thinking, No! Even if you are half barnyard animal, you're my best friend and I don't want you to die!**

Aphrodite squealed and said "That's so cute...I guess."

**Then he groaned "Food," and I knew there was hope.**

Everyone cracked a grin at that.

**"Percy," my mother said, "we have to ..." Her voice faltered.**

**I looked back. In a flash of lightning, through the mud-spattered rear windshield, I saw a figure lumbering toward us on the shoulder of the road. The sight of it made my skin crawl. It was a dark silhouette of a huge guy, like a football player. He seemed to be holding a blanket over his head. His top half was bulky and fuzzy. His upraised hands made it look like he had horns.**

"You must be stupid!" yelled Athena.

Percy glared at her and she flinched.

**I swallowed hard. "Who is—"**

**"Percy," my mother said, deadly serious. "Get out of the car."**

**My mother threw herself against the driver's-side door. It was jammed shut in the mud. I tried mine. Stuck too. I looked up desperately at the hole in the roof. It might've been an exit, but the edges were sizzling and smoking.**

**"Climb out the passenger's side!" my mother told me. "Percy—you have to run. Do you see that big tree?"**

"Yey, I'm in it!" Thalia called.

_**"What?"**_

**Another flash of lightning, and through the smoking hole in the roof I saw the tree she meant: a huge, White House Christmas tree-sized pine at the crest of the nearest hill.**

**"That's the property line," my mom said. "Get over that hill and you'll see a big farmhouse down in the valley. Run and don't look back. Yell for help. Don't stop until you reach the door."**

**"Mum, you're coming too."**

**Her face was pale, her eyes as sad as when she looked at the ocean.**

Poseidon stopped strangling his brother and began to look sad.

**"No!" I shouted. "You _are _coming with me. Help me carry Grover."**

**"Food!" Grover moaned, a little louder.**

**The man with the blanket on his head kept coming toward us, making his grunting, snorting noises. As he got closer, I realized he _couldn't _be holding a blanket over his head, **

"Finally!" cried Hera.

**because his hands—huge meaty hands—were swinging at his sides. There was no blanket. Meaning the bulky, fuzzy mass that was too big to be his head ... was his head. And the points that looked like horns …**

"Were horns!" shouted Annabeth.

**"He doesn't want _us_," my mother told me. "He wants _you. _Besides, I can't cross the property line."**

**"But..."**

**"We don't have time, Percy. Go. Please."**

**I got mad, then—mad at my mother, at Grover the goat,**

"You make it sound like he's a mascot or something." said Artemis. Percy couldn't help but notice how cute she was when her eyebrows were raised. He was missing home more and more now.

**at the thing with horns that was lumbering toward us slowly and deliberately like, like a bull.**

**I climbed across Grover and pushed the door open into the rain. "We're going together. Come on, Mum."**

**"I told you—"**

**"Mom! I am not leaving you. Help me with Grover."**

**I didn't wait for her answer. I scrambled outside, dragging Grover from the car. He was surprisingly light, but I couldn't have carried him very far if my mum hadn't come to my aid.**

"Good old Mrs. Jackson." grinned Thalia.

**Together, we draped Grover's arms over our shoulders and started stumbling uphill through wet waist-high grass.**

**Glancing back, I got my first clear look at the monster. He was seven feet tall, easy, his arms and legs like something from the cover of _Muscle Man _magazine—bulging biceps and triceps and a bunch of other 'ceps, all stuffed like baseballs under vein-webbed skin. He wore no clothes except under wear**

Nico burst out laughing.

**I mean, bright white Fruit of the Looms**

Almost everyone in the room burst out laughing.

—**which would've looked funny,**

"It does look funny." grinned Apollo.

**except that the top half of his body was so scary. Coarse brown hair started at about his belly button and got thicker as it reached his shoulders.**

**His neck was a mass of muscle and fur leading up to his enormous head, which had a snout as long as my arm, snotty nostrils with a gleaming brass ring, cruel black eyes, and horns—enormous black-and-white horns with points you just couldn't get from an electric sharpener.**

Aphrodite shuddered.

**I recognized the monster, all right. He had been in one of the first stories Mr. Brunner told us. But he couldn't be real.**

**I blinked the rain out of my eyes. "That's—"**

**"Pasiphae's son," my mother said.**

"She's smart." exclaimed Athena.

**"I wish I'd known how badly they want to kill you."**

**"But he's the Min—"**

**"Don't say his name," she warned. "Names have power."**

"Percy's a slow learner." Annabeth muttered sadly.

**The pine tree was still way too far—a hundred yards uphill at least.**

**I glanced behind me again.**

**The bull-man hunched over our car, looking in the windows—or not looking, exactly. More like snuffling, nuzzling. I wasn't sure why he bothered, since we were only about fifty feet away.**

**"Food?" Grover moaned.**

"Shut up with the fricken food!" yelled Hermes.

**"Shhh," I told him. "Mom, what's he doing? Doesn't he see us?"**

**"His sight and hearing are terrible," she said. "He goes by smell. But he'll figure out where we are soon enough."**

"She's really smart." Athena corrected.

**As if on cue, the bull-man bellowed in rage. He picked up Gabe's Camaro by the torn roof, the chassis creaking and groaning. He raised the car over his head and threw it down the road. It slammed into the wet asphalt and skidded in a shower of sparks for about half a mile before coming to a stop. The gas tank exploded.**

**_Not a scratch, _I remembered Gabe saying.**

"Oops." Thalia snickered.

**Oops.**

"Telepathy!" yelled Nico.

**"Percy," my mom said. "When he sees us, he'll charge. Wait until the last second, then jump out of the way— directly sideways. He can't change directions very well once he's charging. Do you understand?"**

"She's extremely smart!" cried Athena.

**"How do you know all this?"**

"Cause' she doesn't share Poseidon's genes." said Demeter.

**"I've been worried about an attack for a long time. I should have expected this. I was selfish, keeping you near me."**

**"Keeping me near you? But—"**

**Another bellow of rage, and the bull-man started tromping uphill.**

**He'd smelled us.**

"Oh no." muttered Artemis. For some reason she was scared for the boys well being. Something that had never happened before. Why was she scared for this boy?

**The pine tree was only a few more yards, but the hill was getting steeper and slicker, and Grover wasn't getting any lighter. The bull-man closed in. Another few seconds and he'd be on top of us. My mother must've been exhausted, but she shouldered Grover. "Go, Percy! Separate! Remember what I said."**

**I didn't want to split up, but I had the feeling she was right—it was our only chance. I sprinted to the left, turned, and saw the creature bearing down on me. His black eyes glowed with hate. He reeked like rotten meat.**

"Lovely." whispered the goddess of love.

**He lowered his head and charged, those razor-sharp horns aimed straight at my chest.**

**The fear in my stomach made me want to bolt, but that wouldn't work. I could never outrun this thing.**

**So I held my ground, and at the last moment, I jumped to the side.**

**The bull-man stormed past like a freight train, then bellowed with frustration and turned, but not toward me this time, toward my mother, who was setting Grover down in the grass.**

**We'd reached the crest of the hill. Down the other side I could see a valley, just as my mother had said, and the lights of a farmhouse glowing yellow through the rain. But that was half a mile away. We'd never make it.**

**The bull-man grunted, pawing the ground. He kept eying my mother, who was now retreating slowly downhill, back toward the road, trying to lead the monster away from Grover.**

**"Run, Percy!" she told me. "I can't go any farther. Run!"**

"This isn't going to end well." Mike muttered.

"How do you know?" asked Hephaestus.

"He has his ways." explained Thalia.

Nico began to continue where he left off.

**But I just stood there, frozen in fear, as the monster charged her. She tried to sidestep, as she'd told me to do, but the monster had learned his lesson. His hand shot out and grabbed her by the neck as she tried to get away. He lifted her as she struggled, kicking and pummeling the air.**

**"Mum!"**

**She caught my eyes, managed to choke out one last word: "Go!"**

**Then, with an angry roar, the monster closed his fists around my mother's neck, and she dissolved before my eyes, melting into light, a shimmering golden form, as if she were a holographic projection. A blinding flash, and she was simply ... gone.**

Tears fell freely from Poseidon's eyes.

**"No!"**

**Anger replaced my fear. Newfound strength burned in my limbs—the same rush of energy I'd gotten when Mrs. Dodds grew talons.**

**The bull-man bore down on Grover, who lay helpless in the grass. The monster hunched over, snuffling my best friend, as if he were about to lift Grover up and make him dissolve too.**

**I couldn't allow that.**

Aphrodite cooed.

**I stripped off my red rain jacket.**

**"Hey!" I screamed, waving the jacket, running to one side of the monster. "Hey, stupid! Ground beef!"**

"This is what we like to call a dumbass." said Thalia.

**"Raaaarrrrr!" The monster turned toward me, shaking his meaty fists.**

**I had an idea**

"Oh no." moaned Nico.

—**a stupid idea,**

"That's the only idea you can do." muttered Annabeth.

**but better than no idea at all.**

"Good point." said Artemis.

**I put my back to the big pine tree and waved my red jacket in front of the bull-man, thinking I'd jump out of the way at the last moment.**

**But it didn't happen like that.**

**The bull-man charged too fast, his arms out to grab me whichever way I tried to dodge.**

**Time slowed down.**

"Kronos was at work here." said Athena.

"Actually it was probably the adrenaline rush." corrected Hestia.

"Or Jake might have been visiting." Mike added.

**My legs tensed. I couldn't jump sideways, so I leaped straight up, kicking off from the creature's head, using it as a springboard, turning in midair, and landing on his neck.**

**How did I do that?**

"Who cares, just kill the damn thing!" yelled Ares.

**I didn't have time to figure it out. A millisecond later, the monster's head slammed into the tree and the impact nearly knocked my teeth out.**

"Oh, so that was what that huge shudder was when I was a tree. _Thanks_ Percy." Thalia muttered.

**The bull-man staggered around, trying to shake me. I locked my arms around his horns to keep from being thrown. Thunder and lightning were still going strong. The rain was in my eyes. The smell of rotten meat burned my nostrils.**

Most of the goddesses shuddered.

**The monster shook himself around and bucked like a rodeo bull. He should have just backed up into the tree and smashed me flat, but I was starting to realize that this thing had only one gear: forward.**

"Just like Nico's killing style. Kill the first dude, the the guy behind him, then the guy behind him and so on. He asks question's later" explained Annabeth. Nico glared at her.

**Meanwhile, Grover started groaning in the grass. I wanted to yell at him to shut up, but the way I was getting tossed around, if I opened my mouth I'd bite my own tongue off.**

"That sounds painful." murmured Hera.

**"Food!" Grover moaned.**

"We'll give you food if you shut the Hades up!" yelled Nico.

**The bull-man wheeled toward him, pawed the ground again, and got ready to charge. I thought about how he had squeezed the life out of my mother, made her disappear in a flash of light, and rage filled me like high-octane fuel. I got both hands around one horn and I pulled backward with all my might. The monster tensed, gave a surprised grunt, then—**_**snap!**_

"I think the Minotaur just began to do a weird limbo and it accidentally fell off in Kelp' for 'Brains hand." explained Thalia.

"Thank you Tree hugger." Percy replied.

"Seaweed Brain."

"Thunderstruck."

"Sea spawn."

"Sky spawn."

"Goddess lover."

"You really screwed up then. You complemented me." laughed Percy.

"Wait. Your wife's a goddess?" Athena asks.

"Crap. You'll find out later." Percy muttered. The Olympians frowned but let it slide.

**The bull-man screamed and flung me through the air. I landed flat on my back in the grass. My head smacked against a rock. When I sat up, my vision was blurry, but I had a horn in my hands, a ragged bone weapon the size of a knife.**

"So that's what the thing that looks like a large molding tooth in your room is." murmured Mike.

**The monster charged.**

**Without thinking, I rolled to one side and came up kneeling. As the monster barreled past, I drove the broken horn straight into his side, right up under his furry rib cage.**

"You're not a half bad fighter kid." said Ares.

"Just wait till our fight." replied Percy, which left all the gods confused.

**The bull-man roared in agony. He flailed, clawing at his chest, then began to disintegrate—not like my mother, in a flash of golden light, but like crumbling sand, blown away in chunks by the wind, the same way Mrs. Dodds had burst apart.**

**The monster was gone.**

"Oh goodie." said Dionysus.

**The rain had stopped. The storm still rumbled, but only in the distance. I smelled like livestock and my knees were shaking. My head felt like it was splitting open. I was weak and scared and trembling with grief I'd just seen my mother vanish. I wanted to lie down and cry, but there was Grover, needing my help, so I managed to haul him up and stagger down into the valley, toward the lights of the farm house. I was crying, calling for my mother, but I held on to Grover—I wasn't going to let him go.**

"You're unwaveringly loyal aren't you." murmured Hestia.

**The last thing I remember is collapsing on a wooden porch, looking up at a ceiling fan circling above me, moths flying around a yellow light, and the stern faces of a familiar-looking bearded man and a pretty girl, her blond hair curled like a princess's.**

"Sounds like this could be your wife." squealed Aphrodite. Artemis couldn't help but feel slightly jealous of whoever this person was. Why?

**They both looked down at me, and the girl said, "He's the one. He must be."**

"I wonder if I messed with their love life." whispered the goddess of love.

**"Silence, Annabeth," the man said. "He's still conscious. Bring him inside."**

The whole room gaped at Annabeth. Obviously the girl wasn't his wife because she was married to a son of Hermes. Artemis internally breathed a sigh of relief for some reason.

Suddenly someone yelled "We have arrived!" Everyone turned to see Daimon, who had spoke, Jake, and a group of people behind them.


	5. LOL: WE meet NEW people

**Pertemis: Reading the Lightning Thief!**

**Chapter five**

**We meet people from the future and read chapter five!**

I do not own Pjo or anything else apart from the demititans.

"Would you mind introducing yourselves?" Nico asked. They nodded.

A boy who forward and introduced himself "Hello I am Connor Stoll, son of Hermes god of travels. I'm from 2013 and I'm dating looked the splitting image of Hermes stepped Annabeth Chase, daughter of Athena."

Annabeth came over and gave him a hug. A boy that looked like he could have been Connor's twin stepped forward "Hi, I'm Travis Stoll son of Hermes from 2013. I'm the boyfriend of Katie Gardner, daughter of Demeter."

A girl came up "I am Katie Gardner daughter of Demeter from 2013. I am dating Travis Stoll son of Hermes."

"I am Chris Rodriguez son of Hermes, dating Clarisse La Rue, daughter of Ares.

"I am Clarisse La Rue daughter of Ares, dating Chris Rodriguez son of Hermes."

"I'm Grover Underwood, a satyr. I am married to Juniper, a Nymph. I am the new lord of the wild."

"What happened to Pan?" Dionysus asked.

"Faded." Annabeth replied. "I was there." Hermes saddened at the loss of his son.

Then a girl clad in a white and silver dress. "I am Diana, daughter of Selene from 2013. I'm not married and I rarely date. I am the second cousin of Mike and Jake, and the niece of Daimon."

Then from behind came an eleven year old, a seven year old, and a three year old.

"It's the demon children! Run for your lives!" screamed Nico as the three girls yelled 'Uncle Nico!'.

Percy was gaping. "Zoe? Luna? Bellus?" he asked.

They turned and yelled "DADDY!" They ran up to him and tackled him in a bear hug.

"Girls, shouldn't you introduce yourselves to the gods of the past?" asked Mike.

"Okay cousin Mike!" the three year-old yelled happily "Hi I'm Bellus Jackson, daughter of Percy and and I'm-not telling. I'm the sister of Zoe and Luna. Thalia and Annabeth are my favorite people." Said people smiled at her.

The seven year-old came up and said "I'm Luna, daughter of Percy and I'm-not telling. I'm the sister of Zoe and Bellus. My favorite people are Athena, Mike, Diana, and Aphrodite."

Finally the person that had to be Zoe came up "Um...I'm Zoe I guess. I'm the daughter of I'm-not telling and Percy. I was formally Zoe Nightshade, but after I died Ouranos sent me back, repaying a favor to Jake so when Percy's wife gave birth to a child, it was me. My favorite people are Jake, Daimon, Nico, Apollo, and Hestia."

Daimon was prodding Diana with a stick. Percy was smiling warmly at his children. Jake was firing arrows at the new arrivals. Dionysus had found a secret stash of wine. Athena and Poseidon were arguing again. Artemis was hugging Zoe.

Mike grabbed the book and said "Let's read!"

**I play pinochle with a horse!**

"I did that once." muttered Dionysus.

**I had weird dreams full of barnyard animals. Most of them wanted to kill me. The rest wanted food.**

"That is a very weird dream Percy. What were you eating?" asked Travis.

"I don't remember." Percy cried.

**I must've woken up several times, but what I heard and saw made no sense, so I just passed out again. I remember lying in a soft bed, being spoon-fed something that tasted like buttered-popcorn, only it was pudding. **

"Drink of the gods? Puke-able." Diana gagged.

Zeus frowned at her, but decided that the four demititan's were completely different from demigods.

**The girl with curly blond hair hovered over me,**

"I can guess who this is." grinned Chris.

**smirking as she scraped drips off my chin with the spoon.**

All the demigods, companions, and gods turned to Annabeth frowning. She blushed.

**When she saw my eyes open, she asked, "What will happen at the summer solstice?"**

**I managed to choke "What?"**

**She looked around, as if afraid someone would overhear. "What's going on? What was stolen? We've only got a few weeks."**

Zeus' eyes widened as he realized what had happened. Grabbing his bolt he aimed it at the demigods and demititans, _again_! "You dare steal my bolt!" he yelled. Nico, Percy, and Jake were suddenly armed. Zeus quickly sat back down, knowing this was not a fight he could win.

**"I'm sorry," I mumbled, "I don't..."**

**Somebody knocked on the door, and the girl quickly filled my mouth with pudding.**

"Yeah, shut up Percy!" laughed Nico.

**The next time I woke up, the girl was gone.**

**A husky dude, like a surfer, stood in the corner of the bedroom keeping watch over me. He had blue eyes-at least a dozen of them-on his cheeks, his forehead, the back of his hands.**

"That sounds like Argus." murmured Hera.

"Who else has tons of eyes all over their body?" questioned Annabeth.

"Let's see. A drawing of eyes. Um, yeah I don't know." said Grover.

**When I finally came around for good, there was nothing weird about my surrounding, except that they were nicer than I was used to. I was sitting in a deck chair on a huge porch, gazing across a meadow at green hills in the distance. The breeze smelled like strawberries.**

Ares gagged at the peaceful description.

**There was a blanket over my legs, a pillow behind my neck. All that was great, but my mouth felt like a scorpion had been using it for a nest. My tongue was dry and nasty and every one of my teeth hurt.**

**On the table next to me was a tall drink. It looked like iced apple juice, with a green straw and a paper parasol stuck through a maraschino cherry.**

**My hand was so weak. I almost dropped the glass once I got my fingers around it.**

**"Careful," a familiar voice said.**

**Grover was leaning against the porch railing, looking like he hadn't slept in a week.**

"So you looked tired then?" asked Clarisse to Grover. He shrugged.

**Under one arm, he cradled a shoe box. He was wearing blue jeans, Converse hi-tops and a bright orange T-shirt that said CAMP HALF-BLOOD. Just plain old Grover. Not the goat boy.**

Grover looked a little offended by that.

**So maybe I'd had a nightmare. Maybe my mum was okay. We were still on vacation, and we'd stopped here at this big house for some reason. And . . .**

The whole room's mood saddened excruciatingly.

**"You saved my life," Grover said. "I . . . well, the least I could do . . . I went back to the hill. I thought you might want this."**

**Reverently, he placed the shoe box in my lap.**

**Inside was a black-and-white bull's horn, the base jagged from being broken off, the tip splattered with dried blood. It hadn't been a nightmare.**

"Yes it was, a _living_ nightmare." said Nico.

**"The Minotaur," I said.**

**"Um, Percy, it isn't a good idea-"**

**"That's what they call him in the Greek myths, isn't it?" I demanded. "The Minotaur, Half man, half bull."**

**Grover shifted uncomfortably. "You've been out for two days. How much do you remember?"**

**"My mum. Is she really . . ."**

**He looked down.**

**I stared across the meadow. There were groves of trees, a winding stream, acres of strawberries spread out under the blue sky. The valley was surrounded by rolling hills, and the tallest one, directly in front of us, was the one with the huge pine tree on top. Even that looked beautiful in the sunlight.**

"And this is important because...?" frowned Travis.

**My mother was gone. The whole world should be black and cold. Nothing should look beautiful.**

"That's deep." whispered Katie.

**"I'm sorry," Grover sniffled. "I'm a failure. I'm-I'm the worst satyr in the world."**

Thalia and Annabeth gave Grover a comforting hug.

**He moaned, stomping his foot so hard it came off. I mean, the Converse hi-top came off. The inside was filled with Styrofoam, except for a hoof-shaped hole.**

**"Oh, Styx!" he mumbled.**

**Thunder rolled across the clear sky.**

"What is it with thunder and Styx?" asked Connor.

Zeus shrugged at the question.

**As he struggled to get his hoof back in the fake foot, I thought, Well, that settles it.**

**Grover was a satyr. I was ready to bet that if I shaved his curly brown hair, I'd find tiny horns on his head. But I was too miserable to care that satyrs existed, or even minotaurs.**

Grover glared defiantly.

**All that meant was my mum had been squeezed into nothingness, dissolved into yellow light.**

"I thought it was golden." blurted Apollo.

"Does everything have to be about your colour?" asked Artemis.

**I was alone. An orphan. I would have to live with . . . Smelly Gabe? **

"That's worse than the fields of punishment!" yelled Athena, and the rest of the room agreed.

**No. That would never happen. I would live on the streets first. I would pretend I was seventeen and join the army. **

"Uh, how old did you look when you were twelve?" asked Ares.

**I'd do something.**

"I'd do nothing personally." said Nico.

**Grover was still sniffling. The poor kid-poor goat, satyr, whatever**

Grover's glare increased ten fold.

**-looked as if he expected to be hit.**

"I was." Grover muttered.

**I said, "It wasn't your fault."**

"He's right for once in his life." Thalia whispered.

**"Yes, it was. I was supposed to _protect_ you."**

**"Did my mother ask you to protect me?"**

**"No. But that's my job. I'm a keeper. At least . . . I was. Don't strain yourself," Grover said. "Here."**

**He helped me hold my glass and put the straw to my lips.**

**I recoiled at the taste, because I was expecting apple juice. It wasn't that at all. It was my chocolate-chip cookies. Liquid cookies. And not just any cookies-but my mom's homemade blue chocolate-chip cookies, buttery and hot, with the chips still melting. **

The demigods sighed happily at the thought of Nectar.

**Drinking it, my whole body felt warm and good, full of energy. My grief didn't go away, but I felt as if my mom had just brushed her hand against my cheek, given me a cookie the way she used to when I was small, and told me everything was going to be okay.**

"Momma's boy." yelled Clarisse.

**Before I knew it, I'd drained the glass. I stared into it, sure I'd just had a warm drink, but the ice cubes hadn't even melted.**

**"Was it good?" Grover asked.**

**I nodded.**

**"What did it taste like?" He sounded so wistful, I felt guilty.**

**"Sorry," I said. "I should've let you taste."**

"It would have burned me to ashes!" Grover cried.

"And that would be a bad thing?" asked Ares, which earnt him multiple glares.

**His eyes got wide. "No! That's not what I meant. I just . . . wondered."**

**"Chocolate-chip cookies," I said. "My mom's. Homemade."**

**He sighed. "And how do you feel?"**

**"Like I could throw Nancy Bobofit a hundred yards."**

"So, you're good then?" asked Grover.

**"That's good," He said. "That's good, I don't think you could risk drinking any more of that stuff."**

**"What do you mean?"**

**He took the empty glass from me gingerly, as if it were dynamite, and set it back on the table. "Come on. Chiron and Mr. D are waiting."**

"Yey, I'm in it!" Dionysus cried happily.

"And that's supposed to be a good thing?" Clarisse asked.

**The porch wrapped all the way around the farmhouse.**

**My legs felt wobbly, trying to walk that far. Grover offered to carry the Minotaur horn, but I held on to it. I'd paid for that souvenir the hard way. I wasn't going to let it go.**

"Selfish." laughed Thalia.

**As we came around the opposite end of the house, I caught my breath.**

**We must've been on the north shore of Long Island, because on this side of the house, the valley marched all the way up to the water, which glittered about a mile in the distance. Between here and there, I simply couldn't process everything I was seeing. The landscape was dotted with buildings that looked like ancient Greek architecture**

"No, it _was_ ancient Greek architecture." sighed Annabeth.

**-an open-air pavilion, and amphitheater, a circular arena- except that they all looked brand new, their white marble columns sparkling in the sun. In a nearby sandpit, a dozen high school-age kids and satyrs played volleyball. Canoes glided across a small lake. Kids in bright orange T-shirts like Grover's were chasing each other around a cluster of cabins nestled in the woods. Some shot targets at an archery range. Others rode horses down a wooded trail, and, unless I was hallucinating, some of their horses had wings.**

"Blackjack!" Percy and Jake yelled in perfect unison.

"I'll get him." Jake said, then disappeared in his nuclear explosion.

**Down at the end of the porch, two men sat across from each other at a card table. The blond-haired girl who'd spoon-fed me popcorn-flavored pudding was leaning on the porch rail next to them.**

**The man facing me was small, but porky. He had a red nose, big watery eyes, and curly hairs so black it was almost purple. He looked like those paintings of baby angels-what do you call them, hubbubs? No, cherubs. That's it. He looked like a cherub who'd turn middle-aged in a trailer park. **

Everyone laughed while Dionysus went purple.

**He wore a tiger-pattern Hawaiian shirt, and he would've fit right in one of Gabe's poker party, except I got the feeling this guy could've out-gambled even my step father.**

"Easily." Dionysus muttered, trying to regain some lost dignity.

**"That's Mr. D." Grover murmured to me. "He's the camp director. Be polite. The girl, that's Annabeth Chase. She's just a camper,but she's been here longer than just about anybody. And you already know Chiron . . ."**

"Yes we do already know Chiron." Bellus laughed, her voice like chime bells. The goddesses smiled at her.

**He pointed at the guy whose back was to me.**

**First, I realized he was sitting in the wheelchair. Then I recognized the tweed jacket, the thinning brown hair, the scraggly beard.**

**"Mr. Brunner!" I cried.**

**The Latin teacher turned and smiled at me. His eyes had that mischievous glint they sometimes got in class when he pulled a pop quiz and made all the multiple choice B.**

"Daimon needs to take a test like that so he can get above an F-, like maybe just an F." Diana said.

**"Ah, good, Percy. Now we have four for pinochle."**

**He offered me a chair to the right of Mr. D, who looked at me with bloodshot eyes and heaved a great sigh.**

**"Oh, I suppose I must say it. Welcome to Camp Half-Blood. There. Now, don't expect me to be glad to see you."**

"Don't worry, we're not either Mr. D." called Travis. His twin grinned.

**"Uh, thanks." I scooted a little farther away from him because, if there was something I had learned from living with Gabe, it was how to tell when an adult had been hitting the happy juice. **

The whole room burst into hysterics.

**If Mr. D was a stranger to alcohol, I was a satyr.**

"And you're no satyr." Grover said.

**"Annabeth?" Mr. Brunner called to the blond girl.**

**She came forward and Mr. Brunner introduced us.**

**"This young lady nursed you back to health, Percy. Annabeth, my dear, why don't you go check on Percy's bunk? We'll be putting him in cabin eleven for now."**

"Yeah! My cabin!" cheered Hermes.

**Annabeth said, "Sure, Chiron."**

**She was probably my age, maybe a couple of inches taller, and a whole lot more athletic looking. With her deep tan and her curly blond hair, she was almost exactly what I thought a stereotypical California girl would look like, except her eyes ruined the image.**

"What do you mean by that?" Athena and Annabeth asked in unison.

**They were startling gray, like storm clouds; pretty, but intimidating, too, as if she were analyzing the best way to take me down in a fight.**

Athena and Annabeth gave Percy looks that said 'you got lucky this time'.

**She glanced at the minotaur horn in my hands, then back at me. I imagined she was going to say, _You killed a minotaur! or Wow, you're so awesome! _or something like that.**

"Yeah right!" Thalia said and Nico burst out laughing.

**Instead she said, "You drool when you sleep."**

"Ha. I knew it!" cried Thalia.

**Then she sprinted off down the lawn, her blond hair flying behind her.**

"It's shocking how you notice these things, Percy." Annabeth giggled.

**"So," I said, anxious to change the subject, "You, uh, work here, Mr. Brunner?"**

**"Not Mr. Brunner," the ex-Mr. Brunner said. "I'm afraid that was a pseudonym. You may call me Chiron."**

"Pseudonym?" Mike asked. Annabeth then began to explain to him what it was. He began to read to block her out.

**"Okay." Totally confused, I looked at the director. "And Mr. D . . . does that stand for something?"**

**Mr. D stopped shuffling the cards. He looked at me like I'd just belched loudly. "Young man, names are powerful things. You don't just go around using them for no reason."**

"Zeus. Minotaur. Poseidon. Hera. Athena. Artemis." came a voice behind us. Everyone turned to see Jake with the infamous Blackjack behind him. "What did I miss?"

"Nothing much. Anyway, I blessed Blackjack so he can speak when he wants." Percy explained.

"_That's right boss. Now I can speak my mind." _said Blackjack.

**"Oh. Right, Sorry."**

**"I must say, Percy," Chiron-Brunner broke in, "I'm glad to see you alive. It's been a long time since I've made a house call to a potential camper. I'd hate to think I've wasted my time."**

"I'm so sorry Chiron, but...you have." Nico fake sobbed, pretending to cry. Percy hit him over the back of the head.

**"House call?"**

**"My year at Yancy Academy, to instruct you. We have satyrs at most schools, of course, keeping a lookout. But Grover alerted me as soon as he met you. He sensed you were something special, so I decided to come upstate. I convinced the other Latin teacher to . . . ah, take a leave of absence."**

"Convinced?" Luna questioned.

**I tried to remember the beginning of the school year. It seemed like so long ago, but I did have a fuzzy memory of there being another Latin teacher my first week at Yancy. Then, without explanation, he had disappeared and Mr. Brunner had taken the class.**

**"You came to Yancy just to teach me?" I asked.**

**Chiron nodded. "Honestly, I wasn't sure about you at first. We contacted your mother, let her know we were keeping an eye on you in case you were ready for Camp Half-Blood. But you still had so much to learn. Nevertheless, you made it here alive, and that's always the first test."**

"Wow. You actually passed a test?" Athena asked, feigning shock.

Percy looked at her. "I bested you in combat Athena so I wouldn't be talking about passing tests."

"W-what? H-how? I'm i-impossible to b-beat in c-combat." she stuttered.

Percy grinned and answered "The only Olympians I have not bested in combat are Hestia, because she doesn't fight, the Big Three, though I almost beat them once, and Artemis."

"Why couldn't you beat me?" asked Artemis confused.

"Because when daddy fights you he gets...distracted." Luna giggled as she finished the last word. Everyone from the future minus Percy burst into hysterics.

Athena frowned and asked "What's so funny?"

Percy looked away to hide his prominent blush while Daimon announced "When he fights her, she play's...evil. Yeah evil."

Everyone from the future laughed so the Olympians shook it off.

**"Yes, sir!" Grover trembled as he took the fourth chair, though I didn't know why he should be so afraid of a pudgy little man in a tiger-print Hawaiian shirt.**

Daimon and Nico burst out laughing. Grover blushed.

**"You _do_ know how to play pinochle?" Mr. D eyes me suspiciously.**

**"I'm afraid not," I said.**

**"I'm afraid not, _sir,_" he said.**

"You're really strict aren't you?" muttered Jake.

**"Sir," I repeated. I was liking the camp director less and less.**

"Me too." grinned Thalia, finally overcoming the shock of the recent events.

**"Well," he told me, "it is, along with gladiator fighting and Pac-Man, one of the greatest games ever invented by humans. I would expect all _civilized_ young men to know the rules."**

"And we _all_ know Percy isn't civilized." Nico chuckled.

**"I'm sure the boy can learn," Chiron said.**

**"Please," I said, "what is this place? What am I doing here? Mr. Brun-Chiron-why would you go to Yancy Academy just to teach me?"**

**Mr. D snorted. "I asked the same question."**

"_Shut up fat, divine, pudgy, purple blob god._" Blackjack neighed. Everyone laughed at Dionysus' purple face.

**The camp director dealt the cards, Grover flinched every time one landed on his pile.**

Grover blushed harder.

**Chiron smiled at me sympathetically, the way he used to in Latin class, as if to let me know that no matter what my average was, I was his star student. He expected me to have the right answer.**

**"Percy," he said. "Did you mother tell you nothing?"**

**"She said . . ." I remembered her sad eyes, looking out over the sea. "She told me she was afraid to send me here, even though my father had wanted her to. She said that once I was here, I probably couldn't leave. She wanted to keep me close to her."**

The room's mood once again saddened at this turn of events.

**"Typical," Mr. D said. "That's how they usually get killed. Young man, are you bidding or not?"**

"Do you ever shut up?" Daimon asked. Dionysus went purple _again_.

**"What?" I asked.**

**He explained, impatiently, how you bid in pinochle, and so I did.**

**"I'm afraid there's too much to tell," Chiron said. "I'm afraid our usual orientation film won't be sufficient."**

"Orientation film?" Thalia asked.

**"Orientation film?" I asked.**

Nico and Annabeth laughed at her.

**"No," Chiron decided. "Well, Percy. You know your friend Grover is a satyr. You know"-he pointed to the horn in the shoe box-"that you have killed the Minotaur. No small feat, either lad. **

"Nah. I did it sleepwalking once." Jake explained.

"You once conquered Everest sleepwalking." muttered Diana.

**What you may not know is that great powers are at work in your life. Gods-the forces you call the Greek gods-are very much alive."**

**I stared at the others around the table.**

**I waited for somebody to yell, _No!_ But all I got was Mr. D yelling, "Oh, a royal marriage. Trick! Trick!" He cackled as he tallied up his points.**

"You scare me." Nico said to the 'wine dude'.

**"Mr. D," Grover asked timidly, "if you're not going to eat it, can I have your Diet Coke can?"**

**"Eh? Oh, all right."**

**Grover bit a huge shard out of the empty aluminum can and chewed it mournfully.**

**"Wait," I told Chiron. "You're telling me there's such a thing as God."**

"That depends on your opinion. It's metaphysical." Athena blurted. Jake and Nico chucked rocks at her.

**"Well, now," Chiron said. "God-capital _G_, God. That's a different matter altogether. We shan't deal with the metaphysical."**

"Metaphysical?" Thalia questioned. Annabeth opened her mouth but a glare from Clarisse shut her up.

**"Metaphysical? But you were just talking about-"**

**"Ah, gods, plural, as in, great beings that control the forces of nature and human endeavors: the immortal gods of Olympus. That's a smaller matter."**

"What do you mean: smaller?" Hera growled.

**"Smaller?"**

**"Yes, quite. The gods we discussed in Latin class."**

**"Zeus," I said. "Hera. Apollo. You mean them."**

"Yeah us!" Apollo cried happily.

**And there it was again-distant thunder on a cloudless day. **

**"Young man," said Mr. D, "I would really be less casual about throwing those names around, if I were you."**

**"But they're stories," I said. "They're-myths, to explain lightning and the seasons and stuff. They're what people believed before there was science."**

"SCIENCE!" Zeus grabbed his bolt only to get shot by an arrow. Everyone turned to see Daimon holding a bow that hadn't been there seconds before.

"Lower the bolt, or the next arrow gets shot straight through your skull." Nico said, his voice shockingly calm and even. Zeus obliged quickly.

**"Science!" Mr. D scoffed. "And tell me, Perseus Jackson"-I flinched when he said my real name, which I never told anybody-"What will people think of your 'science' two thousand years from now?" Mr. D continued. "Hmm? They will call it primitive mumbo jumbo.**

"Mumbo Jumbo?" Nico asked.

**That's what. Oh, I love mortals-they have absolutely no sense of perspective. They think they've come _so-o-o_ far. And have they, Chiron? Look at this boy and tell me."**

**I wasn't liking Mr. D much, but there was something about the way he called me mortal, as if . . . he wasn't. It was enough to put a lump in my throat, to suggest why Grover was dutifully minding his cards, chewing his soda can, and keeping his mouth shut.**

"It was wise. I probably would have done the same." murmured Thalia.

**"Percy," Chiron said, "you may choose to believe or not, but the fact is that _immortal_ means immortal. Can you imagine that for a moment, never dying? Never fading? Existing, just as you are, for all time?"**

"Yup." Hermes laughed.

**I was about to answer, off the top of my head, that it sounded like a pretty good deal, but the tone of Chiron's voice made me hesitate.**

**"You mean, whether people believed in you or not," I said.**

**"Exactly," Chiron agreed. "If you were a god, how would you like being called a myth, an old story to explain lightning? What if I told you, Perseus Jackson, that someday people would call _you _a myth,**

"People do call daddy a myth." said Zoe.

**just created to explain how little boys can get over losing their mothers?"**

"Ouch." Thalia winced.

**My heart pounded. He was trying to make me angry for some reason, but I wasn't going to let him. **

**"I wouldn't like it. But I don't believe in gods."**

**"Oh, you'd better," Mr. D murmured. "Before one of them incinerates you." **

"Like you?" Annabeth asked Dionysus. He shrugged.

**Grover said, "P-please, sir. He's just lost his mother. He's in shock."**

**"A lucky thing, too," Mr. D grumbled, playing a card. "Bad enough I'm confined to this miserable job, working with boys who don't even believe!"**

**He waved his hand and a goblet appeared on the table, as if the sunlight had bent, momentarily, and woven the air into glass. The goblet filled itself with red wine.**

"Ugh, alcohol." Nico shuddered.

"What about alcohol?" Diana questioned.

"Oh what a story it is." Daimon said before he began to burst out laughing.

**My jaw dropped, but Chiron hardly looked up.**

**"Mr. D," he warned, "your restrictions."**

**Mr. D looked at the wine and feigned surprise.**

**"Dear me." He looked at the sky and yelled, "Old habits! Sorry!"**

**More thunder.**

**Mr. D waved his hand again and the wineglass changed into a fresh can of Diet Coke. He sighed unhappily, popped the top of the soda, and went back to his card game.**

**Chiron winked at me. "Mr. D offended his father a while back, took a fancy to a wood nymph who had been declared off-limits."**

"You did what!?" Zeus thundered. Dionysus shrank back in fear.

**"A wood nymph," I repeated, still staring at the Diet Coke can like it was from outer space.**

**"Yes," Mr. D confessed. "Father loves to punish me. The first time. Prohibition. Ghastly! Absolutely horrid ten years! The second time-well, she was pretty, and I couldn't stay away. The second time he sent me here. Half-Blood Hill. Summer camp for brats like you. 'Be a better influence,' he told me. 'Work with youths rather than tearing them down.' Ha! Absolutely unfair."**

"You're like a spoilt child." Connor muttered under his breath.

**Mr. D sounded about six years old, like a pouting little kid.**

**"And . . ." I stammered, "your father is . . ."**

**"Di _immortals,_ Chiron," Mr. D said. "I thought you taught this boy the basics. My father is Zeus, of course."**

**I ran through D names from Greek mythology. Wine. The skin of a tiger. The satyrs seemed to work here. They way Grover cringed, as if Mr. D were his master.**

Grover blushed harder.

**"You're Dionysus," I said. "The god of wine."**

**Mr. D rolled his eyes. "What do they say, these days, Grover? Do the children say, "Well, duh!'?"**

"No actually teenagers say-" Jake was cut off as Diana put a hand over his mouth.

"I don't think you should repeat that." she growled.

**"Y-yes, Mr. D."**

**"Then, well, duh! Percy Jackson. Did you think I was Aphrodite, perhaps?"**

The whole room laughed as Dionysus blushed harder. Aphrodite threw one of her high heels at him.

**"You're a god."**

**"Yes, child."**

**"A god. You."**

**He turned to look at me straight on and I saw a kind of purplish fire in his eyes, a hint that this whiny, plump little man was only showing me the tiniest bit of his true nature. I saw visions of grape vines choking unbelievers to death, drunken warriors insane with battle lust, sailors screaming as their hands turned to flippers, their faces elongating into dolphin snouts. I knew that if I pushed him, Mr. D would show me worse things. He would plant a disease in my brain that would leave me wearing a strait jacket in a rubber room for the rest of my life.  
** "Lovely." Nico muttered.

**"Would you like to test me, child?" he said quietly.**

"Yeah." Daimon nodded.

**"No. No, sir."**

**The fire died a little. He turned back to his card game. "I believe I win."**

**"Not quite, Mr. D," Chiron said. He set down a straight, tallied the points, and said, "The game goes to me."**

**I thought Mr. D was going to vaporize Chiron right out of his wheelchair, but he just sighed through his nose, as if he were used to being beaten by the Latin teacher.**

"I probably was." Dionysus sighed.

**He got up, and Grover rose, too.**

**"I'm tired," Mr. D said. "I believe I'll take a nap before the sing-along tonight. But first, Grover, we need a talk, _again_, about your less-than-perfect performance on this assignment."**

Thalia, Annabeth, and Grover's shoulder's all slumped.

**Grover's face beaded with sweat. "Y-yes sir."**

**Mr. D turned to me. "Cabin eleven, Percy Jackson. And mind your manners."**

"Percy and manners can't be put in the same sentence." Travis snickered.

**He swept into the farmhouse, Grover following miserably.**

**"Will Grover be okay?" I asked Chiron.**

**Chiron nodded, though he looked a bit troubled. "Old Dionysus isn't really mad. He just hates his job. He's been . . . ah, grounded, I guess you would say, and he can't stand waiting another century before he's allowed to go back to Olympus."**

**"Mount Olympus," I said. "You're telling me there really is a place there?"**

"You're a bit slow on the uptake aren't you." Athena muttered.

**"Well now, there's Mount Olympus in Greece. And then there's the home of the gods, the convergence point of their powers, which did indeed used to be on Mount Olympus. It's still called Mount Olympus, out of respect to the old ways, but the palace moves, Percy, just as the gods do."**

**"You mean the Greek gods are here? Like . . . in _America?_"**

"Uh...yeah we are." Apollo said.

**"Well, certainly. The gods move with the heart of the west."**

**"The what?"**

**"Come on, Percy. What you call 'Western civilization.' Do you think it's just an abstract concept? No, it's a living force. A collective consciousness that has burned bright for thousands of years. The gods are part of it. You might even say they are the source of it, or at least, they are tied to tightly to it that they couldn't possibly fade, not unless all of Western civilization were obliterated. The fire started in Greece. Then, as you well know-or as I hope you know, since you passed my course-the heart of the fire moved to Rome, and so did the gods. Oh, different names, perhaps-Jupiter for Zeus, Venus for Aphrodite, and so on-but the same forces, the same gods."**

**"And then they died."**

"Do we looked like we died." Zeus asked.

**"Died? No. Did the West die? The gods simply moved, to Germany, to France, to Spain, for a while. Wherever the flame was brightest, the gods were there. They spent several centuries in England. All you need to do is look at the architecture. People do not forget the gods. Every place they've ruled, for the last three thousand years, you can see them in painting, in statues, on the most important buildings. And yes, Percy, of course they are now in your United states. Look at your symbol, the eagle of Zeus. Look at the statue of Prometheus and Rockefeller Center, the Greek facades of your government buildings in Washington. I defy you to find any American city where the Olympians are not prominently displayed in multiple places. Like it or not-and believe me, plenty of people weren't very fond of Rome, either-America is now the heart of the flame. It is the great power of the West. And so Olympus is here. And we are here."**

"This is boring. Where's the blood and gore?" sighed Ares.

**It was all too much, especially the fact that I seemed to be included in Chiron's we, as if I were part of some club.**

**"Who are you, Chiron? Who . . . who am I?"**

"Son of the sea. Ally of the demititans. Leader of the demigods. Savior of two daughters of Zeus. Founder of the golden fleece, Zeus' bolt, and Hades' helm. Among countless other titles that I can't be bothered to name." Daimon muttered.

**Chiron smiled. He shifted his weight as if he were going to get up out of his wheelchair, but I knew that was impossible. He was paralyzed from the waist down.**

**"Who are you?" he mused. "Well, that's the question we all want answered, isn't it? But for now, we should get you a bunk in cabin eleven. There will be new friends to meet. And plenty of time for lessons tomorrow. Besides, there will be s'mores at the campfire tonight, and I simply adore chocolate."**

"Me too." Travis, Connor, and Nico all blurted in sync.

**And he did rise from his wheelchair. But there was something odd about the way he did it. His blanket fell away from his legs, but the legs didn't move. His waist kept getting longer, rising above his belt. At first, I thought he was wearing very long, white velvet underwear, but as he kept rising out of the chair, taller than any man, I realized that the velvet underwear wasn't underwear; it was the front of an animal, muscle and sinew under coarse white fur. And the wheelchair wasn't a chair. It was some kind of container, an enormous box on wheels, and it must've been magic, because there's no way it could've held all of him. A leg came out, long and knobby-kneed, with a huge polished hoof.**

**Then another front leg, then hindquarters, and then the box was empty, nothing but a metal shell with a couple of fake human legs attached.**

**I stared at the horse who had just sprung from the wheelchair: a huge white stallion. But where its neck should be was the upper body of my Latin teacher, smoothly grafted to the horse's trunk.**

**"What a relief," the centaur said. "I'd been cooped up in there so long, my fetlocks had fallen asleep, Now, come, Percy Jackson. Let's meet the other campers."**

"Who want's to read next?" Mike asked, and Katie took the book.

"How about after this chapter we have dinner?" Hera suggested.

"Agreed." Jake said, nodding at his half-sister.

"Wow Percy, your the lord of the bathroom. Congrats." Katie laughed.


End file.
